Year 6 residential (missing my boy)

My younger son went away on his year 6 residential on Monday. He was very excited, and rightly so. It will be an amazing experience – a chance to unwind after SATs, a final opportunity to relax and enjoy himself with his old friends (he’s the only one going to his new school), a chance to see new places, try new things, see the teachers in a different light…

For most year 6s, the residential is a highlight of their time at primary school. They’re going out on a high.

We’re in uncharted territory – the first time he’s been away for four nights. He managed three nights on Scout camp last summer and has done a few two-night camps. I know he won’t be missing us for one second – he’ll be too busy and having too much fun. His brother and sister say they don’t miss him and, strangely, I believe them. Strange, because they both get on so well with him.

Me?

I’m missing him.

There’s a gap in my life. A hole. I feel out of sorts. Detached. Unenthusiastic. Nothing feels quite right.

The house feels bigger and emptier without him.

Every time someone goes away, it changes the dynamic of the household. When my eldest went away, it made for a more harmonious family. And I don’t feel his loss so strongly – he’s already done three full weeks away, plus countless weekends. We’re more used to him not being there.

With my younger son away, there’s just the lack of him. We’re no more harmonious. There’s as much conflict between his brother and sister as ever, but without him to distract from it.

There’s nobody collapsing onto me at 3.50pm with a mournful face, asking ‘When’s tea?’ in a pitiful voice. How will he cope without a biscuit cupboard to raid while he’s away?

There’s nobody kicking a ball round the house.

There’s nobody on the Xbox (which isn’t a bad thing).

There’s nobody giving me endless monologues about games/ YouTubers/ Darren Shan books.

There’s nobody to chat to his sister at breakfast.

There’s no ‘banter’ with his brother.

There’s only one child to walk to and from school. And it turns out that, even with only one child, we are still incapable of leaving the house on time (so now I know whose fault it is!).

There’s no Angry Birds socks in the wash. Or on the floor.

He’ll be home tomorrow and I’m feeling VERY sad that I won’t be here to see him. I’ll be at Britmums Live. I was genuinely tempted to give up my ticket because I feel so wrong about not being here. I know it doesn’t really matter. It probably doesn’t even matter to him. But it matters to me. I haven’t seen him all week and I really want to see him.

But I guess it will just have to wait one more day. The monologues will be about his adventures, the Angry Birds socks will be back on the floor, the Xbox will be on and the biscuit supplies will be going down.

I can’t wait.

Son, Residential, Socks

Author: Sarah Mummy

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8 Comments

  1. Ahh it must be the week for it…..The year 6’s at my girls school have gone off for their residential too.
    I hope he has had a great time….It’s only natural to miss him.

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    • Thanks very much! It’s a good time to go, with the SATs over and the end of term (and school!) in sight.

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  2. Dear Sarah,

    im writing to you because ive seen the pictures of your skin. Im no expert but it really looks like the skin condition “rosacea” (type 2). Ive stumbled upon your blog during my own research for this skin condition. I suffer from it myself, although from type 1 (generel redness and extreme flushing) I saw how much you suffer and just had to write you.

    While there aint many options to treat type 1, there is help for people suffering from type 2, such as yourself. From what i have read and heard, for many people the cause is an infection with skin mites (demodex).

    The 3 most effective treatments for this are:

    1. The zhongzhou zinc oxid creme from demodexsolutions.com
    This is an ointment from a chinese manufacturer. There are many many many positive reviews for this creme on the internet. Its somewhat expensive (around 35 $ plus shipping) and the treatment may take up to a year but i guess in your case its really worth it. Please research it for yourself. Ppl online call it “zz creme”, just so you know what to look for.

    2. Soolantra creme from galderma. This is just as effective as the zz creme but to my knowledge it should heal you faster. The downside is, its expensive as hell in the US (i think you are form the US?) so you might want to try option 1.

    The third option is an all natural approach. Australian Tea tree oil mixed with coconut oil (tea tree oil by itself is too harsh for the skin) once daily as topical.

    Please research all theese treatments. Im know your pain and how much you suffer. Please try one of those. But keep in mind: If your Symptomes are demodex related, it WILL get worse at first, since the mites will die and thus expose all their bacteria at once into your skin. After that you will heal though.

    Please try one of those (if you havent already) you deserve to be happy again.

    Greetings from Germany. I hope you get well soon.

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    • Thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to write this.

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  3. it’s middle child syndrome, your kids relationships sound very similar to our family set up and yes. while you’re at Britmums tomorrow, he’ll be doing exactly what you describe and not feeling any of your guilt.

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    • You’re so right, he definitely will! Hopefully he’ll be pleased to see me when I get home (although probably not as pleased as I will be to see him!).

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  4. Oh bless you, it is really strange when one of them is away. R went on a weekend residential a few weeks ago and it did seem really strange without him. Whilst I missed him, I did not miss him winding up and arguing with his brother! I am sure that it now feels like he was never away

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    • It’s strange – it really doesn’t! I can’t believe that it was only this time last week that he was away and I was desperately missing him! My younger son doesn’t wind the others up, so there wasn’t much positive to him being away – apart from that I knew he’d be having a brilliant time!

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