Tears

There’s been a fair few tears here lately.

The end of the panto hit my daughter hard, as I knew it would. When we embarked on our panto journey back in November, I anticipated moaning, from her and from me, because it was so full-on and and so tiring. She never moaned once (and I didn’t moan either!). It was, quite simply, one of the best experiences of her life.

She performed on stage. She danced, she sang, she acted, she did some comedy. She worked with professional actors and chatted with them as friends. She made friends with a crazy group of big girls who made her laugh and looked after her. She formed  a special bond with the smallest member of the chorus. The two of them were inseparable for eight weeks.

The whole thing became a huge part of her life and of all of our lives. In fact, it became her life. There was nothing but panto.

But all good things must come to an end.

The first tears happened five days before the end of the run. There were more tears two days later. There were tears on the final morning.

I was amazed she wasn’t crying when she came out on the final day, especially as her little friend was crying. But they’d had a good day, it had been pretty special. She was buzzing with excitement.

Later that evening, she came down with a bump and started crying. She was still crying as I went to bed that night. It was heartbreaking to see and I hated leaving her crying in her bed.

But the tears weren’t just for the end of one of the best experiences of her life. The panto made her see things differently, made her think about her priorities. Made her want to change. She didn’t want to go back to normal life.

The one thing she didn’t want to do, which we can’t do anything about, is go back to school. My daughter has always loved school and always thrived there. She’s a clever girl, a hard worker and impeccably behaved. She loves sport and will enter every school team she can. She’s a teacher’s dream.

But after October half-term her teacher, a brilliant teacher who had taught both boys, went on maternity leave. I couldn’t be happier for the teacher for having a baby. But my daughter got a new teacher and we encountered something we’d never encountered before – a teacher we didn’t like.

The teacher doesn’t smile. She’s not cheerful. She dishes out punishments too frequently and without much consistency. Of course my daughter hasn’t been punished, but she’s unsettled. The spark has gone from her.

The panto gave her an escape. For the last four weeks of term, she was missing afternoons or mornings and sometimes whole days. She never had to do two full consecutive days in class.

Now all she can see is two whole terms of going to school with a teacher she doesn’t like. She doesn’t want to be there. Year 5 is an important year and it’s not fair that she’s feeling like that (and she’s far from the only one feeling that way).

The end of the panto has also made her question some of the dance lessons she does. Does she still want to do them? Does she still feel a part of the dance school? Does she really enjoy going there? Has she got friends there?

There’s been tears about school and dancing. And there’s been tears about the panto.

She’s at a bit of a crossroads. She needs to decide what she wants to do. And whatever it is, we will back her all the way. Because we want our happy girl back.

And it’s less than nine months until panto auditions. I’m holding onto that thought.

Author: Sarah Mummy

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27 Comments

  1. Hmm that teacher doesn’t sound too great does she? Would it help to have a word with the head about it or would that just stir things up a bit maybe? I think it would be a million times harder here to get z to school if he took a dislike to his teacher!

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    • Thanks, we’re keeping an eye on things and hoping they will improve soon.

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  2. Bless her little heart , I realy feel for her and for you as its hard when a child is sad . Its also hard being a child when you start to grow up and feel changes in your life that you are not sure what to do about , growing up is hard. As for school my boys have come across one or two teachers that are difficult and talking it through with the head of school does help. Plenty of cuddles and an understanding ear and looking forward to good things to come will help. And as a mum keep your chin up, you have an amazing daughter who will feel better soon.

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    • Thanks very much, that’s such a lovely thing to say and I really appreciate it.

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  3. Oh no. A teacher makes such a difference. I remember when I was in Year 4 there was a job share and I hated those 2 days of the week. Maybe the teacher is just trying to set her boundaries and things might get better. xx

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    • Thanks very much, that’s what I hope! I don’t want to have a girl who is miserable for the whole of the year. x

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  4. Aww! Bless her…It sounds like she’s having a tough time at the moment! I really hope things improve at school….My youngest hates her teacher and I am not to fond of her either but we’re having to grin and bare it. It’s hard!

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    • Oh dear, that’s not good! It’s not nice when they have a teacher like that.

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  5. Post-Panto blues are one of the worst things EVER! I remember them well – and you get them every time. It won’t be long – and then she will have something else to focus on. It’s not easy in the meantime though. (I got through mine with chocolate!!) x

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    • Thanks very much! She’s got Young Voices and a ballet exam to focus on, so hopefully she will get over it soon enough. x

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  6. Oh dear it’s so hard when they don’t click with a teacher, fingers crossed that she makes it through the rest of the school year OK and next years teacher is better

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    • Thanks very much! I’m hoping the teacher might start to get better and we know who the year 6 teachers are, so fingers crossed they stay put!

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  7. Would something like stagecoach suit her more now that she she has experinced the panto. It will bring together the dancing, singing and acting.

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    • This is something we’ve started looking into, thanks! She’s just got to decide what she thinks suits her best, but hopefully we’ll find the right thing for her.

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  8. Has she kept in touch with the girls from the Panto? I hope she is okay and finds the answers soon.

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    • Thanks very much! We’ve stayed in touch with the youngest girl, her special friend, but all of the others are older and have their own phones, which my daughter doesn’t have (of course). Hopefully she will catch up with some of them in the 2016 panto!

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  9. Oh bless, what a difficult time, is there another local drama group she can get involved with? Mich x

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    • Thanks very much. We’re trying a few places out to see what she likes best at the moment. x

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  10. Aw bless her, it’s totally understandable that she’d be upset. I suppose like everything, it will soon be resigned to the past when she settles into her new routine. I hope she cheers up soon, it is just heartbreaking to see them upset when you can’t help isn’t it?x

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    • It is! She’s feeling a bit better this week, although the panto is still our main topic of conversation. She’s looking forward to Young Voices and we’re going to sample some other drama groups to see what she likes. x

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  11. Ah bless her.

    It’s easy to understand why she’s upset which must make it even harder as a parent because you know what’s causing it but have no control over putting it right.

    I hope she finds a happy balance soon x x

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    • Thanks very much! She’s getting used to school now and we’re working on finding her a drama group or something to at least partly fill the hole left by the panto. Hopefully she will be back on track soon! x

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  12. Year 5 tears and girls I am familiar with! Well, just the one but it is definitely the age group when the hormones kick in big time. A change in teacher can be such a game changer too – hope things settle soon x

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  13. Awww, the panto must’ve been so exciting for her, what a tough come down. such a great experience for her though.

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  14. I would talk to the school if you can .

    Hope she has a settled term c

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  15. Oh my – so much change. You can see an adult struggling with all that, let alone a child. The school thing is really tough, but trying to take a positive spin on things, at least the pants has opened new doors to her and made her see what else is out there and make new friends in the process. Good luck. x

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  16. Oh goodness how awful that a teacher is making her so miserable. I really hope something happens to help it to improve or she finds another positive to at least take her mind off it. x

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