Dancer of the term
Every term, our dance school (the street one, not the ballet one) awards trophies in every class – for Dancer of the Term and Most Improved Dancer. Now I don’t know about everyone else, but the Easter holidays sometimes creep up on me, they seem so much less significant than the excitement of Christmas and all the performances and parties, or the end of the year and the prospect of a lovely long holiday. So I didn’t have time to mentally prepare myself for the stress of the trophies until I saw some pictures on Facebook on the last Monday of term.
Oh no! The trophies would be in my daughter’s class THE VERY NEXT DAY.
You may wonder why this is stressful.
Because I have a high achieving daughter who is a flipping good dancer and hates to fail. And by fail, I mean NOT WIN. As far as she’s concerned, if she’s the best (which she is) she deserves the trophy. She understands that she can’t have it consecutive terms, but she can’t get her head round someone who isn’t as good at dancing as her getting it if she hasn’t had it the previous term.
Obviously she’s actually rubbish and the whole world hates her and she will have to give up dancing.
But it goes without saying that, in an inclusive dance school and from the point of view of the other kids in the class, the other parents and the teachers, they can’t just give it to the best dancer in the class every time. They have to consider other factors – how much improvement they’ve made in their dancing/ behaviour/ confidence, whether they are a cheerful member of the class, if they turn up to every lesson… All of these factors and more go into picking dancer of the term. (Although in my daughter’s defence, she ticks all of these boxes as well as the whole being a good dancer thing.)
Now my daughter WASN’T dancer of the term at Christmas. Let’s just say that it didn’t go down that well at home.
At the end of the lesson last week I sneaked a peek through the blinds at the kids dancing.
There was my daughter in her customary position in the middle at the front, strutting her stuff, giving it attitude and totally smashing it.
Fair play to her, she is a blimmin’ good dancer. And nobody watching the class could argue that.
She SO deserved that trophy.
The kids sat down. The teacher did her spiel and then awarded the ‘most improved’ trophy. I don’t worry about that one. I know she’s never going to get it.
‘There was no question who was going to be dancer of the term… ‘
And with those words, I knew everything would be OK. Because there was only one kid in that room that could have the words ‘no question’ applied to them.
‘She’s awesome. And if I forget the choreography I know I can just look at her and she will remind me.’
Yes. My daughter, who is 8 years old, reminds the teacher when she forgets her own moves.
She IS dancer of the term.
And I can breathe easy until Christmas (because she will now know not to expect a trophy in the summer.)
My daughter is in her fourth year of dancing. She has three Dancer of the Term trophies, one Most Improved (from when she was in year 1 and in the year 1/2 class – the only year she wasn’t the best in the class) and, my favourite, Junior Contemporary Most Promising Dancer (which she got when she was still in year 2 and in a class which was supposed to be year 3-6).
Rightly so! Rightly so! I understand that teachers have to be fair and encourage all the kids but I’ve always hated the ‘must reward all’ mentality. It still drives me mad. But then I’m a person who believe competition is a great thing and being surrounded by people who achieve spurs me on (I get that not everyone thinks this is a good thing). Huge congratulations to your daughter.
Thanks, Rachel! Love that you think that. Competition is good. I’ve never been a particularly competitive person myself, but I find myself quite competitive for my kids!
Goodness me your children are so talented! I guess not winning every time is a lesson for her to learn that is equally as important as gaining the trophy. Competition is a good thing in my eyes and winning/losing are important to experience from a young age. Lovely post 🙂
Thanks very much, Suzanne. I think she’s gradually getting the ‘not winning’ message, but it’s always a relief when she does win!
Well done to her – she seems like someone who really works her socks off so really well deserved!! 🙂
Thanks very much, Notmyyearoff. She certainly does work her socks off! 🙂
I find that high achievers suffer when they ‘perceive’ they’ve failed! My youngest is a bit like that…:) So glad your daughter got what she’d set her heart on and was equally deserving of it! 🙂 x
Thanks very much, Kanchan. Sometimes life can be easier with my eldest, who isn’t a high achiever. He doesn’t expect to win all the time, he’s happy being just above average 🙂
She sounds like a very determined girl!! Congratulations to her!
She certainly is, Ellen! Thanks very much 🙂
She sounds amazing Sarah! Must be great that she’s so focused and determined – it’s what all parents want from their kids #PoCoLo
Thanks very much, Mummy Tries! She really is incredibly determined and focused, it’s fab!
Shes so awesome! It is too early for me to see what my son will like when he grows up but for now he is into his doodles and is it bad of me to wish that my son will be as awesome as yours? #pocolo
Thanks very much, Merlinda, what a lovely thing to say 🙂
Well done to your daughter – sounds like she’s a fabulous dancer. I too am in favour of competition! Awards are to celebrate achievement, there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think it’s a great thing to be proud of doing well. I do think there shouldbe recognition for improvement too, but not at the expense of rewarding achievement. Well done to her again! #PoCoLO
Thanks, Katie! I agree with you! I know it seems harsh on the kids who don’t win if the same kids win all the time, but if those kids deserve to win – and they’re putting the effort in to achieve something, why not? I have one child who doesn’t always win and I don’t begrudge the kids around him who do.
Brilliant! And well deserved too.
My son is very competitive, so much so that I’m frankly scared when he plays pass the parcel…
#Linking up from #Welcometotheweekend
Thanks, Fashion Mommy! Wow, that sounds like a worry! I don’t know where my competitive kids came from! It’s a good quality to have, but it can go too far.
It’s hard isn’t it? On one hand you daughter clearly deserves it but on the other the teacher needs to think about the rest of the class. So pleased your daughter received the prize. #PoCoLo
Ash the Dog says – Well Done lil’ dudette – woofingly mega high-5’s being sent to you xx #PoCoLo
Aww lovely post Sarah, your daughter sounds like she works hard and is a great dancer. When my oldest sons where her age they had running races at school but gave a head start in races for not as fast runners! Trying to make children not as competitive! Why do they do this? If children work hard and are good at something, they should be rewarded be allowed to show others how good they are 🙂
That’s crazy, Claire! Although in the infants at my kids’ school they race in groups of four – and they put four kids of similar standard together. As the fastest girl, my daughter was always up against the boys!
She is one determined and very talented young lady – just like her Mum. No wonder you and loud and proud of her 🙂 You have every right to be. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x
Thanks very much, Victoria, such a lovely thing to say! x