My kids are eating their favourite tea (Pizza Fingers and potato waffles – the shame) when my eldest says: ‘The Bird’s Eye ones are nicer.’
We usually have Bird’s Eye waffles, but the Tesco Gods weren’t smiling on us last week and we got a substitution on our delivery – Tesco own brand waffles. I always think long and hard about substitutions, because I know just how fussy my kids are, how they notice these subtle differences and have been known to refuse to eat them. (Let’s be honest, I’d refuse any chocolate other than Green & Black’s Maya Gold, so who am I to talk?)
Then my younger son says: ‘These ones are nicer.’
Which got me thinking about the ridiculous number of differences in what my boys will and won’t eat. They are quite literally Jack Spratt and his wife. Or his brother.
Here are just a few examples of what I have to deal with every day.
Boy 1 – vegetarian Boy 2 – likes meat
Boy 1 – likes jacket potatoes Boy 2 – doesn’t like jacket potatoes
Boy 1 – doesn’t like fish fingers Boy 2 – likes fish fingers
Boy 1 – likes pesto Boy 2 – doesn’t like pesto
Boy 1 – likes peeled apples Boy 2 – likes apples as nature intended
Boy 1 – likes black bananas Boy 2 – likes yellow bananas
Boy 1 – only drinks water and milk Boy 2 – likes apple juice, squash and fizzy drinks
Boy 1 – doesn’t like olives Boy 2 – likes olives
Boy 1 – doesn’t like raisins Boy 2 – likes raisins
Boy 1 – eats baked beans on plate Boy 2 – has beans in separate bowl
Boy 1 – allergic to peanuts Boy 2 – likes peanut butter
Boy 1 – loves Weetabix Boy 2 – hates Weetabix
Boy 1 – likes margarita pizza Boy 2 – likes pepperoni pizza
Boy 1 – likes cheesy breadsticks Boy 2 – likes plain breadsticks
Boy 1 – doesn’t like peas Boys 2 – likes peas
In fact, I think the only things they agree on are milk and Marmite sandwiches – they both love both of them.
And don’t forget there’s another little person in the equation who falls somewhere between the two.
Is it any wonder I don’t cook ‘proper’ food very often?!