Two of the best things I’ve ever done

Life with an empty nest is strange. (Although my kids do come home from uni a lot, so it’s rare for us to be completely on our own for more than a few days!) As a mum of three who worked part-time from when my younger son was born in 2003, my life always revolved completely around my kids.

From getting them up in the morning and seeing them out the door to school to shopping and cooking for them and doing their washing. Supporting them through school, homework, revision and exams. Then all the years of football, rugby, athletics, dance lessons and panto rehearsals – driving them places, watching them play or perform, being there for them for the injuries and defeats…  And, most of all, just spending time with them. I loved spending time with my kids and still do. They are my absolute world.

But without them here all the time, I’ve had to find my own world.

I’ve realised recently that there are two things I say ‘It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done’ about. Two things which I’ve come to a bit later in life. Two things which have changed my life for the better. Two things I thought I would never do…

Getting a dog and joining a running club.

Having Hetty in our lives brings us absolute joy every single day. When I was younger and right into my early 40s, I was wary of dogs. I was slightly scared of them and a real germophobe. I couldn’t touch them. But I gradually started to see how happy they made people. I can remember the first time I stroked my neighbour’s dog and how lovely it felt (although I couldn’t rest until I’d washed my hands afterwards). My younger son wanted a dog for many years. Then I started to want one too. Eventually, my daughter and husband agreed.

The timing is never perfect, but we got Hetty as an eight-week-old puppy in January 2022. My younger kids were in year 11 and year 13. It was the day before my son’s A Level mocks started, so not ideal, but we made it work. Having a puppy is HARD, especially when none of you have ever had a dog before. But now we can hardly remember those days.

Now we have a dog who is a loving and faithful friend. She loves to spend all her time with us. She jumps up with excitement when we get home. She always sits with us when we’re watching TV or reading. Her tail wags just at the sight of us. And she loves nothing better than playing with balls in the garden.

You can never really be lonely or sad when you’ve got a dog. And if you are feeling sad, she will know and she will make it better.

Getting a dog is one of the best things I ever did. I’m pretty sure I will always have a dog now. I couldn’t imagine life without her.

I never thought I would join a running club. I started running just before my 21st birthday and I never stopped (although the distances and frequency were low when my kids were very small). I was happy running on my own and doing fine. The one thing I hated doing on my own and couldn’t make myself do was any sort of interval training. I knew I would need to go to a club for this. But I also thought it wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t really need to do it.

My husband’s business partner has been a member of our running club for a long time. Nearly two years ago, he persuaded my husband to go along. My husband loved it and was hooked right from the word go. Of course, I wanted to go too, but I couldn’t. Even though she was 17, my daughter still needed me to drive her to dance lessons, which clashed perfectly with the two running club sessions my husband was going to.

Three months after he joined the club, my daughter passed her driving test. I went along to the running club that very day and I never looked back.

I loved the running, especially the speed endurance/ interval sessions. They are hard, but enjoyable and they really work. It didn’t take long for my already quite good times to get significantly better. Eighteen months on from joining the club, I’m still getting PBs in nearly every race I run.

But being around a group of strangers isn’t easy for me. I’m quite shy and feel a bit awkward in groups. I find it hard to start or join in conversations. It probably took six months, and being named Runner of the Month, for me to be able to just talk to people. It’s pretty easy, all you have to do is say ‘What races have you got coming up?’. In a running club, people always have races coming up!

The running club isn’t just about the times. It’s about doing very small races I never knew existed. About chatting to the club members and having a group photo taken with them before a race. It’s about club members in the crowd cheering me on.

The club vest means I’m never alone or lonely. There will always be someone to chat to. It is about belonging and I really belong now.

Joining a running club is one of the best things I’ve ever done.

I’m not sure how the empty nest would be without Hetty and the running club. Thank goodness I won’t ever have to find out.

If you have an empty nest or your empty nest is just around the corner, find those best things you’ve ever done. It probably won’t be a dog and a running club, although it might. But everyone will have those things that bring them joy and they can build their own world around.