Twitter judgement

As a parent blogger, I am always honest about parenting. Everything I write here is true. I try to be positive, but sometimes I will write about stuff that’s not as positive. That’s life with teenagers. I extend this onto my Twitter. You will often see me tweeting that I can’t get my kids out of bed, for example. That’s honesty. That’s real life.

The correct response to my tweets that the boys won’t get out of bed or that they’ve left a mess in the kitchen would be ‘Typical teens!’ and maybe an eye roll emoji. The correct response is not ‘You should leave them in bed’, ‘You should tip cold water on them’, ‘You should stop their pocket money’. Because, let’s be realistic, the ‘crime’ of staying in bed (something which 98% of teenagers do and which they are actually scientifically programmed to do) doesn’t really warrant tipping water on them or stopping their pocket money.

I know the people who tweet these things think they’re being supportive to me. But, here’s the thing, we’re a family, we come as a package. You support me, you support my kids and my husband too. Don’t judge them when you know nothing about them. Just tweet me an eye roll emoji and we can all be friends.

I actually ended up blocking someone that I talked to regularly on Twitter because I was tired of her endless judgements of my kids on Twitter. It got to the point where I was nervous to tweet the sort of honest stuff I’ve always tweeted for fear of her judgement. And worrying about the judgement of strangers is no way to live your life. Blocking her felt extremely liberating. But there are still more people willing to give me their ‘supportive’ opinions on how I should parent my kids.

There’s an element of smugness there. Like their kids always set their alarms and jumped out of bed at 7 on a school day and never made a mess of the kitchen. In fact, they could cook the whole family a three course meal at the age of 11. They would never have gone to bed at 2am, they trotted off and went to sleep at 10pm.

Of course, they may have been angels, but it’s unlikely. I do wonder whether these people, who usually have grown up kids, have actually forgotten what it’s like to live with teenagers.

My kids are normal teenagers (in fact they’re very good teenagers) and this is normal teenage behaviour. Yes, it’s mildly frustrating as a parent, but it’s life. I am very grateful that my teenagers have actually been very easy. We haven’t had behavioural issues and there have been no mental health problems (to date, I know these things can happen later on).

I could claim that all of this is down to my brilliant parenting – reasonably strict, but not overly strict. But really I know that there is a big dose of luck in there. People whose parenting skills are every bit as good as mine have some real struggles with their teenagers. The sorts of struggles which wouldn’t be solved by tipping water on them (seriously, who does that, it’s inhumane) or stopping their pocket money.

I want to keep blogging and tweeting honestly, but I am tired of the judgement. What would you do? Do I sanitise myself and never tweet about my kids? Do I put up with the judgement? Do I block all the Mrs Judgeypants? Or do I come up with some really kick ass responses to shut them down?

Twitter logo, Twitter, Social media, Twitter judgement, Parenting, Blogging

Author: Sarah Mummy

Share This Post On

28 Comments

  1. It’s tricky but I think we have to accept that putting yourself out there means that some people might not agree with our opinion or actions. If it upsets then sure block away but personally I don’t think it’s healthy to live in a bubble where everyone agrees with you – it’s unrealistic online or real life. I’m sure they’re not judging you they’re just giving their thoughts. Of course what worked for them isn’t necessarily the right thing for your family only you know them best but I can’t help but think that the comments are well meaning at heart.

    Post a Reply
    • Only the comments and ‘advice’ from family and friends who really know you and your kids should matter. I think I lnow who you were referring to and I found it quite staggering that she was giving her quite forceful opinions on people she’s never met!. We all have different styles of parenting and what works for some don’t work for others xxx

      Post a Reply
      • Absolutely! Everyone’s circumstances are different and everyone does what’s right for their own family. I’m sure you do know who I was referring to and her opinions were definitely too forceful! x

        Post a Reply
    • I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. I disagree with other people too – but I don’t feel the need to constantly say it! With one or two individuals online, it has been constant. It’s almost that I tweet that I’m having difficulty getting my boys out of bed, count to 10 and they will have responded with some rather nasty solution to the ‘problem’. With one individual it really felt as though she thought she was supporting me by saying horrible things about my boys. And it definitely doesn’t work like that!
      You’re right – what works for one family won’t necessarily work for another, which is why I will only give advice if asked!

      Post a Reply
  2. Never sanitise yourself Sarah. You did right by blocking this individual and remember, it is only social media. Alas, I love using social media but it brings out the absolute worse in some people. There are certain people I simply want nothing to do with online because of their atrocious behaviour. Just keep on doin’ yo’ thang. I always enjoy your tales about life with teens.

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much, I really appreciate that! I think I miss a lot of the really bad stuff on social media, although I see people talking about it sometimes! But this constant interference was starting to get me down. I feel a lot better for blocking and will do it again if I need to!

      Post a Reply
  3. I’m so glad you decided to block and feel better about the things you share. For the record, I’d be delighted if my children behaved the same way as yours when they’re teens!! It would be terrible if you stopped blogging or using Twitter as somewhere to vent because of someone being judgemental. I think you and I have similar views on a lot of things but very different views on others when it comes to parenting. For me, that’s a fascinating insight into the way others do it and I definitely learn from some of your techniques and ideas. Disagreement is definitely healthy but judgement is never acceptable.
    Nat.x

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much, that’s a lovely thing to say! I think many people would be happy to end up with teens like mine and I consider myself very lucky to have them. But they will never be good enough for the Mrs Judgeypants of the world!

      Post a Reply
  4. I think you need some kick ass responses! Don’t sanitise what you tweet because for every judgemental person tutting and wondering where you went wrong, there’s someone else (like me) feeling it’s not just them feeling frustrated at life with teens. I tend to exaggerate and play on the fact that i have REAL teenagers because I know it’s a comfort to others knowing that. I would just brush off the judgy ones or give them a reality check!

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much! It’s good to know there are people like you around who can understand just what it’s like to have teenagers – not people looking back with rather clouded up rose-tinted glassses or being smug that their darling 5yo will never sleep until 12 and leave a trail of destruction in the kitchen! I did start responding more clearly to the one person and pointing out that she was wrong. And then I just decided to block her instead and now the world is a better place!

      Post a Reply
  5. Yes, block, blck, block, if you find it stressing. For some reason I don’t often mention personal or family issues on Twitter, but feel more open on my blog. Perhaps because Twitter is impersonal and brings up a nastier, judgier part in people.

    Post a Reply
    • That’s a sensible approach! Generally blog readers do tend to be more sympathetic than people on Twitter, but for me Twitter has always been like an extension of my blog and I’ve akways said the same kinds of things. I think blocking is definitely the way forward!

      Post a Reply
  6. I’d just ignore them. I’m sure if I said how much time N spends on Youtube people would have a lot to say about it, but I’d just ignore them is probably the best thing.

    Post a Reply
    • Ignoring them probably is the best thing! I doubt N spends anywhere near as much time on YouTube as my younger son does. It’s not idea, but there are bigger things in life to worry about and people should mind their own business.

      Post a Reply
  7. As I said to you on Twitter, I have had a few comments in the past and one was particularly upsetting. It’s really tricky when you put part of your life on line as there will always be some people who will judge or make snide comments, I think you did the best thing to ignore them as you don’t want to get into an argument about it and you have the right to say whatever you want

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much. Sorry to hear you had a particularly upsetting comment. I have responded and put people straight a couple of times and just pointed out that their suggestions really aren’t suitable for my own sons, but in the end it was easier just to block the worst offender.

      Post a Reply
  8. Just deal with it in a lighthearted manner – not everyone parents in the same way so them being judgemental (in your eyes) is now returned as you are being judgemental about their suggestion. At least people are reading and interacting 😀

    (plus, I usually find that it’s those without children of that age who will provide the most ridiculous suggestions anyway)

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much! I tried to remain lighthearted, but there were people who literally only tweeted me to criticise my kids. That’s when I had to block! These are mainly people whose kids are all grown up, so maybe chucking water at them did work – or maybe they’d just forgotten what it was like to have teenagers!

      Post a Reply
  9. I only use twitter to promote my blog. I don’t care for the twitter speak so I don’t engage in conversation enough to have people making snide comments to me about anything. That’s the downside to the internet. You put yourself out there and it’s like because it’s the internet everyone thinks they have a right to tell total strangers how to live, how to parent, what to think and what to believe. It’s all utter nonsense. Yet we all use the internet to express ourselves in one fashion or another. I think you did right in blocking the person. I LOVE my block button. It’s my best friend in the internet world. And as a parent of a teen and tween, I can totally relate to them sleeping in but as you said, it’s actually quite normal for teens to sleep more. Their bodies kind of need that extra sleep yet the world has yet to really understand that. #mixitup

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much! I love chatting on Twitter, it’s still my favourite thing about it, but there is a definite downside to it. I very rarely block, but I should probably do it more often! And, yes, teenagers definitely do need that extra sleep!

      Post a Reply
  10. Your posts sounds oh so normal in terms of dealing with teenage kids. Stay honest … it’s far more interesting. And insightful. And real! #MixItUp

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much, I really appreciate that!

      Post a Reply
  11. I always stop and pause before I give a response on twitter. I think the things I would jokingly say to a friend would often be inappropriate to put on someone else’s timeline. I hope you can come up with some really sharp comebacks to those who feel the need to comment in such a way #mixitup

    Post a Reply
    • Thanks very much. It’s true, you really should know who you’re speaking to on Twitter and how they would react if you want to comment.

      Post a Reply
  12. I definitely think honesty is the best policy. I have also blocked and muted a few people lately not because of rudeness but because I grew tired of their negativity and aggressive response to others. It felt good and I enjoy Twitter more. If you wouldn’t put up with an idiot in real life why should you online? #mixitup

    Post a Reply
    • Absolutely! That’s just it, the negativity is tiring. I certainly wouldn’t put up with my family or real life friends saying this sort of stuff all the time.

      Post a Reply
  13. That is why the mute button is good so you dont have to listen to the crap and there is a hell of a lot on twitter X #mixitup

    Post a Reply
    • I’ve never used the mute button, I definitely need to do that sometimes! Thanks very much.

      Post a Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: