The doorbell

In the two and a bit years that I’ve been working at home I’ve realised the doorbell rings an awful lot in the daytime. Sometimes, they use the knocker too. Just in case I’m deaf. Well, I soon will be if they bang the flipping knocker as hard as that.

All those important people I would have missed if I was sat in an office working. Except I wouldn’t have missed them. Because they’re not important.

Frankly, they’re an irritant.

Do they ring every doorbell every day, in the vain hope of finding some poor unsuspecting sucker inside? Or do they target my house in particular? Do they think they’re going to find a vulnerable old person inside who will agree to whatever shoddy service or product they’re offering?

Do I want my drive done?

What about my patio?

Do I need new windows?

What about that one over there that’s condensated?

What about fascia boards? (I don’t even know what the flip fascia boards are and I certainly don’t know if we have any.)

Do I want my trees pruning? (We do have a couple of large trees on our garden, that’s not a euphemism.)

Well should he just give me a quote anyway?

Should he come back next year in case I want it done then?

Do I want my gutters clearing? (Again, I’m fairly sure that’s not a euphemism.)

Do I want to sell my car that never moves?

Car, Beetle, yellow, SORN

Do I want to buy some dusters or a towel to dry pets from someone recently released from prison? (OK, so I did agree to that one.)

No, no and NO!

We do a lot of stuff ourselves (and by ‘ourselves’, clearly I mean ‘my husband does a lot of stuff’ because I am thoroughly inept at everything) and if we’re not doing it ourselves we use someone we’ve used before or someone who has been recommended by somebody we trust. We’re not going to use anyone who swaggers up the drive in a branded polo shirt and shoves a load of leaflets in my face.

Does anyone actually buy services from these people? I do feel sorry for older people because they can be quite persistent.

And when I’ve finally cleared the shoddy tradespeople off my drive, the doorbell rings again.

It’s a delivery. Again.

Not for me, of course. For my neighbour. Who gets approximately 10 times as many parcels as me and never seems to be at home to collect them.

I should just give up answering the door altogether. I never actually missed anything important when I was at work, so why would it be any different now?

Except you just know that the one time I don’t answer the door, it WILL be something important.


Author: Sarah Mummy

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  1. It’s enough to drive you mad isn’t it?! Here, it’s always parcels for next door here (up to four a day!) and when I’m expecting a delivery of my own, you can guarantee I’ll be out. Grrr.

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    • It really does drive me a mad! Four parcels a day is impressive! My neighbour had a lot of parcels in the run-up to Christmas, but it’s eased off a bit now.

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  2. The famous line ‘we have just been doing a job around the corner’…… have you ? Can you take me to this particular house please ?

    I always use the ‘sorry we are moving’ line….. they soon disappear then. Apart from one the other week who was particularly insistent that we need new windows before we moved.

    By the way if any of my neighbours are reading this, we are definitely not moving x

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    • I get ‘I used to do the trees for the lady who lived here before’. I don’t care!
      I love that you tell them you’re moving, that’s a great line! x

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  3. hehehe! This made me chuckle. Sorry! I get annoyed answering the door but we usually only have charity people and people asking if I want to change my energy supplier.
    A couple of years ago I did have someone knock and ask if I would like my lawn mowing….We don’t have a lawn. It’s all stones! Doh!

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    • That really is a cheek!
      We don’t get many charity people, although we do get a fair few charity bags pushed through the door.

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  4. Oh I do love the fact that you wrote an entire post about your doorbell and it still kept me entertained! Mine is broken so unless I’m at the front of the house, I just miss people because I can’t hear them knock. Which is just fine by me!

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    • Ha ha, I’m taking that as a compliment! That’s kind of how I felt when I wrote it – it shouldn’t have worked, but it did! It was one of those posts that just popped into my head perfectly formed!
      It’s great that you miss all those people at the door. I would love to miss them at our door! x

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  5. This did make me laugh!! We had someone selling fish the other day! Ours is usually the postman. I always run to the door in case it’s something really interesting. It’s often not though! The most stressful I find are the charity collectors who are so pushy & can be very intrusive, one even started questioning me on the charities I did support when I said I already had some I donated to.

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    • That’s a real cheek by the charity people! What business is it of theirs which charities you support? I remember there used to be a fish man who called round my mum’s house back in the day. We’re in the same village as my mum, but obviously there can’t be much call for fish any more!

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  6. I am with you there. We have a fairly new composite door and STILL someone was trying to sell me a new door yesterday! I too fear for the more vulnerable as I am quite bolshy when it comes to telling people to go away. And the charity collectors with their same-line – your neighbours have agreed donate the cost of a jar of coffee, can you do the same? – aggh

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  7. when I’m at home the doorbell never stops ringing ‘you need maid?’ ‘you want gardener?’ ‘i do good rates’ it’s NEVER anyone offering a service i need or even remotely thought of having. I swear blind they wait in the street till the car pulls up

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