It wasn’t actually his first school rugby match, but it was the first time we’d had chance to watch my son play for the grammar school A team. They’d already played a few matches. They’d won their first little tournament, but then lost all their games since. They’d been playing private schools, who have been playing together from the age of about 7, so it’s hardly surprising.
My son had started the season very positive. Leaving his Sunday morning team was a big step, but he hadn’t had the best season last year. He had found himself dropped from the team a lot, which dented his confidence. He made a lot of excuses for why he was being dropped or why he didn’t get the ball and he just wasn’t enjoying it any more.
Since starting school rugby, his confidence had grown. His teacher had seen how good he is and was impressed with his speed. With the growth in confidence, my son had finally got the hang of tackling, which had always been a big stumbling block for him.
He had always played on the wing and his old team-mates rarely actually got the ball out to the wing, which is what caused a lot of his dent in confidence. He would run up and down for a whole game and hardly touch the ball. At his new school, he had the chance to get a new position. Yet he opted for the wing.
And they were losing games.
Before the match we were watching, I could see the drop in confidence was back. He wasn’t getting the ball again. He was making excuses and seeing problems. I was worried that if he didn’t get the ball, he would be dropped from the team. He is better than that and it would have been a real shame.
What would we see when we went to his match?
I didn’t see a boy who had lost his confidence. I didn’t see a boy who wasn’t getting the ball.
I saw a boy who could tackle. A boy who got the ball. A boy who supported his team mates. A boy whose team mates supported him.
Twice I heard his teacher say ‘Good tackle’ to him. That’s huge for us. My boy has always been afraid to tackle.
The team got beaten again, but it wasn’t all bad. They played together well, they got consolation tries and they were nice to each other. At my son’s old team, he was being excluded. Not in his school team. They were a real team. When someone made a mistake, they said ‘Don’t worry’. Twice I saw my son stop to pick up a team-mate who was hurt.
I was very proud of my boy and his team. I haven’t enjoyed a rugby match that much for a long time.
February 2, 2016
Well done your boy!
Rugby always scares me….It bit too much of the rough and tumble for my liking but my girl plays it at school and loves it too x
February 2, 2016
Thanks very much! It used to scare me, but I’m pretty much used to it now! Am impressed that your daughter plays. x
February 2, 2016
It sounds like he’s come a long way with the tackling and rugby sounds a bit scary, like a huge trust exercise in some ways because it’s such a huge contact sport.. Well done to your boy!!
February 2, 2016
Thanks very much! He’s come a really long way this season and has really grown in confidence.
February 2, 2016
Thanks very much, I was so pleased with him. It’s lovely to see him more confident.
February 3, 2016
Ah that’s so amazing to hear! Rugby should be a sport that is friendly and inclusive, the ridiculous nature of football and footballers means that rugby needs to be something different. I’m so glad things are going well in the school team.
February 3, 2016
Thanks very much! I like that he is able to play both football and rugby and it’s good that rugby is a school thing. Hopefully they will build up a really good team over the years.
February 3, 2016
That’s so wonderful to hear. My nephew is more into football and changing teams has had the same effect on him #SSAA
February 4, 2016
Thank you! My son is into football too and that has always been very stable (it helps when your dad is the coach!). School rugby has definitely given him a new lease of rugby life!
February 4, 2016
I’m really pleased to hear he is getting his confidence back and that you enjoyed the match. Long may it continue!
February 5, 2016
Thanks very much! Absolutely! The signs are looking positive at the moment 🙂
February 4, 2016
Oh that’s brilliant Sarah! Having previously read about your son and followed his disappointment with rugby, this is huge! Well done to him. He sounds like a real team player – exactly what sport should be about. x
February 5, 2016
Thanks very much, I’m really pleased! He is a team player, but sadly his old team was made up of players who definitely weren’t. He is really happy playing for the school and it’s great to see that he is being appreciated by the other players. x
February 5, 2016
I won’t claim to understand rugby at all… The rules are beyond me… But regardless of that, what a joy to watch your boy play so successfully and be such a good team player! Certainly a proud moment for you, I’m sure!
February 6, 2016
Thanks very much, it definitely was! (I don’t understand rugby very well, either and I’ve been watching it for years!).
February 6, 2016
Well done to your boy. It sounds like the school team are helping him and each ither. it must be nice to see his confidence back.
February 6, 2016
Thanks very much. It’s so nice to see his confidence back 🙂
February 6, 2016
I love how you write your posts on your children’s sports achievements. It must be so reassuring to you to watch him grow in confidence and learn how team play can be so supportive. And, of course, well done to your son.
February 6, 2016
Thanks very much 🙂 I love writing about the kids’ sport, so it’s nice to hear that someone likes reading them too! It’s so good to see his confidence grow.
February 6, 2016
How lovely to read that he is really coming into his own in the school team. It would scare me to death watching my child tackling – maybe I should encourage my girls to try non-contact sports as they get older!! #countrykids
February 6, 2016
It’s really good to see how well he is getting on. I used to find watching rugby quite scary, but I’m used to it now!
February 6, 2016
This is what playing team games is all about. Our school have just stopped school rugby for the season and my boys are so disappointing having made the A team, they have now taken up Sunday morning practice in the town so we’ll see how that goes. As you say here the most important thing is to find a supportive team where every person feels they are apart of the group and they work together. I hope he enjoys the rest of the season and they are rewarded with a win.
February 6, 2016
Thanks very much. Good luck to your boys with their Sunday morning rugby. A supportive team is so important.
February 6, 2016
I’m so pleased for you, that is amazing. It is amazing what a difference a positive and supportive environment makes. R gave up football because the coach was so negative and got cross with him when he had to miss games because of other commitments and it is such a shame when they give up under those circumstances
February 6, 2016
That’s terrible to hear that the coach was so negative! My husband is the coach and he’s always nice!
February 6, 2016
Aaahhh such a lovely post and happy to see he has his confidence back. I think it must be scary for a Mum watching their son play Rugby! Saying that though i’m sure my girls will scare me in a million different ways too x
February 9, 2016
Thanks very much. I used to find it quite scary, but after all these years, I’m used to it! x
February 9, 2016
I’m so glad this team is working so well for him. The right team members can really make all the difference by they sound of it. I’m glad he has his confidence back too, it much have been great to see him like this.
Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)
x
February 9, 2016
Thanks very much, it was brilliant to see his confidence back and him playing so well. It’s a shame his two games since then have been cancelled due to the bad weather! x