‘I’ve thought of nothing but the dress since the day I found out I was a finalist… ‘ said 90% of MAD Blog Award finalists. Not this one.
Because this one doesn’t care about dresses or shoes or bags or hair or make-up or jewellery.
So should I just go in my jeans and hoodie? I could get new ones!
Well today is the day. The MAD Blog Awards finals, in which I fully expect to be smiling graciously as I once more don’t win the award for best schooldays blog, but still expect to have a fantastic evening. And I will be doing it all whilst wearing A DRESS. A new one.
Having been a finalist once already, I’ve got this appearance thing down to a fine art. I’ve given it even less thought than I gave it last year. Last year I ordered a half price dress in the Next sale, less because I liked it and more because it was in my size and it was half price. About two seconds after I’d ordered it I even forgot what it looked like. So it was a pleasant surprise when it arrived.
What shoes to wear? Well, I wasn’t going to be wasting money on any, that’s for sure. Because in my book any shoe which isn’t made by Dr Marten, Mr Converse or Mr Croc (flip flops only, not the proper frumpy ones) isn’t worth spending money on.
I know. Sometimes I wonder if I really am a woman at all.
So I dug out the shoes I’d bought (yes, wasted actual money on) for my friend’s wedding the previous year and worn for a whole hour and a half before ditching them for my flip flops. Yes, they look nice. But they sure are uncomfortable. Because they’ve got an elasticated ankle strap which is too big, so they keep slipping off. But they went OK with my dress.
What bag to carry? Well, I thought about clutches and evening bags, but, again, a waste of money in my book. Then my colleagues bought me a well-timed small Cath Kidston handbag for my 40th, so that sorted that one. It was just big enough to carry my flip flops for when I got really fed up of my shoes ie when I had to stand up.
So this year I’ve ordered another half price dress from Next. It’s a different colour and a different shape, but it’s the same length (perfect for showing all the bruises I’ve got from carrying my ‘portable’ bike). It shows my shoulders because I’ve decided they’re my best feature (boobs are non-existent, legs are a bit big and muscular, chest is bony, back is spotty… ). And I’m wearing it with those same damn shoes and carrying that same Cath Kidston bag (which is TOTALLY the wrong colour), which will be carrying my flip flops for when the music starts.
My roots have been done, so all I will need to do is paint my nails blue and shave my legs and I’m ready to party. No hairstyling, no fake tan, no make-up and no jewellery. Because who needs all that stuff when they’re going to have fun?