Recently I wrote about how my daughter was halfway to 16 and how it seemed she was growing up very fast. But however grown up 16 seems, 16 is still a child. And there are some things no child, no woman, no person should have to go through.
We picked up a copy of the local paper the other day, something we rarely do. The headline said: Attempted murder: Girl, 16, fighting for her life.
‘Oh yeah, I heard some kids talking about that on my bus,’ said my son.
What?!
So not only has there been the attempted murder of a 16 year old girl, but my 12 year old son is aware of it before it hits the press?
It made me realise how sheltered our lives are and how we can’t keep our kids sheltered forever. I don’t want 16 year old girls, or anyone of any age, to be fighting for their life. And I don’t want my kids in their safe house, with their two parents and two siblings, their dance classes and rugby teams, to know that kids who are hardly any older than them can be attacked and left fighting for their lives in hospital.
Her alleged attacker has been charged. And who was this attacker? A stranger down a dark alley in the early hours of the morning? No, it was her 18 year old boyfriend. Oh, and did I mention that she was pregnant? Words fail me.
It is only a year since domestic violence against 16 year olds was even recognised in law. This case sadly proves this change in the law was much needed, however hard it is to think that teenagers can be subjected to such appalling behaviour from someone who is supposed to care for them.
So how is the girl now? She’s getting better, right?
No, she isn’t. It was the following day I saw the tragic news online that she had died. In fact she was dead before we had even read her story in the paper.
For the second time in just over a year, my son’s school has opened its doors over the school holidays so that people can lay floral tributes for a pupil who has died way before her time.
My son is only in year 8, he’s only 12. I find it hard to believe that in his short time at secondary school two pupils have died. How does that happen?
I have no answers, only questions and a very heavy, sad heart for a girl I never knew and her family.
April 8, 2014
Gosh she was pregnant too? I can’t imagine what her family is going through, so tragic. Rip x
April 8, 2014
It’s shocking, isn’t it? Doesn’t bear thinking about 🙁
April 8, 2014
How very sad xx
April 8, 2014
I know, it’s absolutely tragic. Thanks very much. x
April 8, 2014
That is too incredibly sad. Sometimes there is no protecting them from a world that throws up stuff like this (rare though it is thankfully). My dad was killed and so I have to find the middle ground of explaining to the children that this is part of us and who we are but not letting it become too massive for them. I am glad your boy’s school is handling it so right. x
April 8, 2014
So sorry to read that, Complicated Gorgeousness. Can’t have been easy to deal with or to explain to your family. I guess we can’t protect our kids forever from this stuff, much as I’d like to! I think the poor school has practice 🙁 x
April 8, 2014
How awful 🙁
April 8, 2014
Words fail me – awful just awful!
April 8, 2014
It’s just dreadful, isn’t it ladies? Thanks very much.
April 8, 2014
This is so sad. The death of course, but also the circumstances. We haven’t had that exact situation but there has definitely been an increase in the loss of young lives in our town in recent years My son starts Secondary School in September and it is a worry. Oh, as you say in this particular situation there are so many questions and sadly so many people affected from the past and the present. Heartbreaking. xxx
April 11, 2014
Thanks very much, Claire. There is never a ‘good’ way to die at any age, least of all as a teenager, but it does seem like a particularly awful way to go. It seems like deaths of young people are sadly not as unusual as we would like them to be 🙁 x
April 11, 2014
Totally horrifying. We try to protect our children from so much, but are powerless when it comes to what is really happening in the outside world. God bless that poor girl.
Linking up from #Welcometotheweekend
April 11, 2014
Exactly, Fashion Mommy! I’m sure her parents would have tried to protect her, but in the end they couldn’t do it. I don’t even want my kids knowing these things happen, let alone experiencing it for themselves. An unbearable thought.
April 11, 2014
Oh Sarah that’s just heartbreaking. There have been suicides in the last few years at our local secondary school and it always pulls me up short to hear of young people going through so much horror 🙁
April 11, 2014
It’s just shocking, isn’t it, Actually Mummy? There have been a few suicides over the years at my son’s school too, but they were before he started. It’s sad to think this is unlikely to be the last death there, but it just seems so wrong for teenagers to die.
April 11, 2014
This is sad. To be a mother and to read news like this. You just want to hide your kids inside your house till they are old enough.. or when are they old enough to go out? I have a cousin in Manila and she is deaf. One day a guy lured her into a secluded place (she is a bit of a child as she hasnt attended school) and tried raping her. Luckily, some passers by saw and they stopped it. This .. this made me so mad because the guy was set free cuz he is a child, 16. I.. I dont know what to say really but.. but i wish that it’l be safer. Just be safer. #WeekendBlogHop
April 11, 2014
I’m so sorry to read that about your cousin, what an awful thing to happen to her and even worse that it went unpunished. I don’t think we can protect our children forever, unfortunately, much as we would like to. We just have to hope they make good choices as they grow up.
April 12, 2014
This is so so sad 🙁
I wrap my children up in cotton wool and always worry about what my eldest son is upto. (He is 20 too soon and at uni )
April 12, 2014
Isn’t it awful? I think I wrap my children in cotton wool too, Claire, but not sure if we can protect them forever 🙁 I’m thankful that situations as extreme as this are rare, but plenty of other bad stuff happens unfortunately.
April 12, 2014
Sarah, that’s just awful, words fail me. I know what you mean about wanting to protect our kids from these things, but this brings home how our attempt to protect them is limited.
P.S. loving the blog change!
April 12, 2014
It’s just shocking, isn’t it? A reminder that we can’t always protect them, but I’m definitely trying to stack the odds in our favour!
Glad you like the blog change, Franglaise Mummy! I’m still getting used to using it, but I love the way it looks 🙂
May 5, 2014
Oh the poor girl how very tragic. Makes me really appreciate how lucky I am to have got away.
May 5, 2014
It’s awful, isn’t it? Terrible that you even had to go through this sort of thing, but at least you did get away. x
May 5, 2014
This death was utterly shocking. Children we know seemed to know more details than the papers as they knew the girl. He’d beaten her badly before, this wasn’t a one off. It also brought back painful memories of our daughter’s death and the tributes for her at the school. I can’t believe those children have experienced such losses, sad, sad times x
May 5, 2014
I thought of you straight away, Kelly. I knew it would bring back memories. It’s inconceivable that someone so young should go through such an awful thing – and horrible to think that kids knew so much about it. My son told me she was pregnant before it had been reported in the press 🙁 x