How does your garden grow?

BySarah Mummy

‘Sairy, Sairy quite contrary, how does your garden grow?’
‘With moss and clover and daisies. And stinging nettles all in a row.’

(FYI, you don’t have permission to call me ‘Sairy’, it’s just a bit of artistic licence for the purposes of this post.)

I love our garden. It’s bigger than most (although a VERY funny shape) and it’s got lots of lovely trees, which give us some really beautiful blossom. But it’s a bit, er, UNKEMPT.

When we moved in nine years ago, we ripped out some overgrown hedges at the back, put in a new fence and a bit more grass. And that was it.

We have no flowerbeds. We invest precisely no love in our garden. It just does its own thing.

At this point I’d like to mention my great blogging friend Suzanne from 3 Children and It. Suzanne and I have a lot in common, so much so in fact we are blog twins. We both have three kids of similar age – two of one sort and then one of the other. And we have a similarly slapdash approach to housework prioritise our kids over housework. So when she posted about her beautiful garden a few weeks ago, I’ll be honest, I felt she’d let me down a bit. Where was the sisterly solidarity?! Who is left now to share my lazy ways put the kids first? I was relieved to discover it was largely the OH who had made the garden beautiful while she had taken on an important supervisory role.

But, I thought, if Suzanne can boast about share her beautiful garden, then so can I…

I mean, look at this… I’m sure you’ll agree, that’s pretty special. It’s an achievement to get them that tall. That takes high levels of neglect.

And that’s not all… Allow me to share some other highlights…

You may wonder why there is a toddler car in the middle of the grass, when the nearest thing we have to a toddler is 7 years old. Frankly, so do I. But I’ve discovered that it’s so the boys can stand on the roof of it and picky the tiny apples off the apple tree before smashing them with a tennis racket.

Ooh, an apple tree, how lovely, I hear you cry! Yes, it’s really massive and really beautiful and produces as many as one edible apple a year – the remaining 5,000 being eaten by wasps and bird before rotting away on our grass like this…

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m quite proud of that photo, but the reality of thousands of smelly apples squashed into your grass and swarming with wasps isn’t so appealing.
Moving on, look at my washing line! It’s been taken over by a hedge! Of mainly spiky blackberry bushes! Lucky me, as I try to peg up the knickers and get ripped to shreds.
And in the picture next to it you can really appreciate the sheer size and unkempt nature of the hedge and its many species of Hedge Stuff (technical, scientific name).
And who could forget my trampoline and the missing fence Well, the fence was replaced suddenly and without warning while we were at work a couple of weeks ago, which is good news. The downside is, we might want to take a look at our trampoline and either refurbish or get rid because it’s kind of heading back to nature right now.
And then there’s our grass, of which we have plenty. Well, we have plenty of green underfoot which is suitable for playing football on and is cut with a lawnmower. On closer inspection it turns out that the front garden is 20% moss, 70% clover and 10% grass. The side and back gardens (yes we are so posh we have a side AND a back garden) are about 80% daisy, 20% grass.
So that’s my beautiful garden. I’m sure you’ll agree, it really is something else.

 

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19 Comments

  1. Ha ha ha ha. That’s funny! I have never been one for gardening but this year we are actually growing things and they haven’t died and we may even actually get to eat some of the things we are growing. There is hope for you

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  2. Gardens don’t have to be perfect to be enjoyed. They must be usable spaces to fit your lifestyle. My parents were lifelong gardeners, worked every weekend, never just let the lawn grow and ignore the weeds. I’m totally different. Don’t be a slave to your garden x.

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  3. Ha ha love this!!! Thanks for the mention 🙂 If it’s any consolation, our trampoline looks as unkempt as yours, I like to call it ‘lived in’….a bit like your garden 😉

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  4. This makes me feel better about our garden! Until last week it was bramble and weed heaven and I got serious jealous pangs from all the beautiful photos I kept seeing. Now I know I’m not alone!!

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  6. Haha. Our garden was absolutely lovely when we first moved in. Now it’s absolutely lovely if you’re a small boy who likes mud patches and hiding in very overgrown shrubs. We definitely all enjoy it but I do wish my mum would come over a bit more often- she loves weeding!!

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  7. Haha your so funny i need to work on my pelvic exercises as a change of knickers is now needed. Cant wait to see what your garden brings next week.

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  8. I love what Lesley said. On a zoomed out shot of our garden, our friend commented that it looks like an adventure playground/recycling centre. This is true. I am a mother and a childminder and seem to take in any free kids apparatus going. I love planting though and have my areas, but ultimately, the garden is for the kids right now. If a plant can’t header a football, then it wasn’t meant to be…And kids LIKE weeds. Daisy chains to be made, four leaf clovers to be found…

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  9. Haha – love it! I could beat you on the height of weeds though. There is a section of my ‘garden’ (or should I just say field?) where some of the weeds are about head high. I kid you not. *hangs head in shame* In fact, I ought to be out there now, doing battle with it. *pops kettle on and continues to read blogs*

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  11. Pobably by far, my most favorite post and one that i can relate to 🙂 hahaha I thought it was written very well and made me laugh quite a lot. Crap gardeners unite!

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  12. Oh, this made me chuckle! To be honest, my approach to gardening has, until now, been much the same 🙂 Inheriting a well kept garden in our new house (and sharing it with our neighbour, so have to make the effort!) has made me give it a go! And, it’s another activity to keep the boys amused 🙂

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  13. I see you are a wildlife gardener who cares deeply about the environment. Nettles are essential for caterpillars which means you’ll get lots of butterflies. Hedges brilliant for nesting birds. Lawn looks soft and comfy. This garden shouts ‘enjoy me’. I like it. (it really isn’t as bad as you think, or are these pics the best bits????) :-),

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  15. Thanks very much, everyone! Glad I made some of you laugh and I’m glad you don’t all think I’m a complete disgrace!
    I like your view, Lesley! We do enjoy our garden and the kids are always out playing in it. I think we just need the hedge trimmed a bit, thought!
    Funny you should mention four leaf clovers, Katie. I’d never seen one in my life before (nor had my mum!), but my son has found three in our garden this year!
    It’s not too bad really, UleyGirl – it’s just that hedge which needs trimming and the nettles which need cutting back a bit. The rest of it is OK and we do enjoy it!

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  17. Great post!!
    The weeds in my garden (brambles especially) grow far quicker than I can clear them and the lawn i’d say is 60%grass 30%moss and 10%thistle.
    But it’s a place to sit and let the kids play and that’s the important bit xx

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  18. We have a kids car too that is never used…only as a means of dividing the garden for tennis! Your garden is actually full of life and love and that is whats important xx

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