My kids might be growing up fast, but it hasn’t stopped them talking rubbish. Here’s some recent classics…
LG age 6 3/4: Mummy, how do boobies make milk? Out of spit?
B1 age 11 1/2: Would you say cheese was a spice?
LG age 6 3/4: Has a man ever kissed a man before?
LG age 6 3/4: (About the boys, who are dirty after rugby…) It’s a shame we can’t just cut their legs off then clean them.
LG age 6 3/4: If you’ve been naughty and Santa doesn’t bring you any presents, do you think your family will let you open theirs?
LG age 6 3/4: Mummy, do you know anyone lived through their whole life without getting robbed?
LG age 6 3/4: (Shows me calculator) How did I get this number?
Me: I don’t know.
LG: I did 987654321 add 987654321.
B1 age 11 1/2: Mummy, do you know what it’s like to blow up a canister of gasoline?