Dressing up shoes

My daughter bought these shoes from the Disney Shop the other day. With her own money. But I wasn’t happy.

I don’t mind dressing up shoes which are dressing up shoes. Little clippy-cloppy things that 3 and 4 year olds wear at home with princess dresses. But these are crossing a line. The distinction between dressing up shoes and actual shoes is becoming blurred and I don’t like it.

I know why she wanted them. She’s a little girl. What little girl wouldn’t want gold clippy-cloppy shoes with heels? (Well, apart from me when I was her age.) She doesn’t want them to play dressing up at home. SHE WANTS THEM FOR PARTIES.

And, guess what? I don’t want her to wear them for parties. Because my little girl doesn’t wear clippy-cloppy heels for parties. My girl is different. In my own mind, of course, she is better. She doesn’t need to wear high heels for parties. But in her mind, she does. BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WEARS THEM.

This comes back to the ‘big feet’ issue of a few weeks ago. Yes, her feet are bigger than other kids’, but I guess they also look bigger because of what she is wearing.

She wears Lelli Kellys. Yes, they are expensive. Yes, the adverts are irritating. BUT they are pretty enough for parties (in my opinion, at least) and practical enough for running and climbing trees. I don’t have special shoes for parties (seriously, I don’t – I don’t see the point of wasting money on something I will only wear once and don’t even like), so I don’t know why she should.

Sadly, I think 4 year olds wear Lelli Kellys for parties. Six year olds were clippy-cloppy high heels. This is very disappointing to me. Because they are little girls. They have their whole lives to wear high heels. It doesn’t need to start when they are 6.

I tried to convey all this information to my husband in the Disney Shop as my daughter stood there insistent she was prepared to spend £16, eight weeks’ pocket money, and clear out all of her holiday savings, on a pair of tacky gold shoes. But he said it’s her decision and I shouldn’t be so controlling.

So now my daughter is the proud owner of the tacky gold shoes. She is happy. I’m not. She will probably go to parties and everyone will make a big fuss of her tacky shoes and no-one will even mention that her feet are big because she now fits the mould of 6 year old glamour.

Dressing up shoes, Girls, Daughter

Author: Sarah Mummy

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10 Comments

  1. Oh I agre with you 100%, I really don’t like little girls in high heels and crop tops….it just looks wrong to me. DD1 was never into this kind of thing, preferring to wear jeans and converse to a party, DD2 is something else altogether – we regularly come to blows about what she wears and usually come to some kind of compromise. It’s a tough one but if it was her own money and not actually ‘revealing’ in any way, I probably would have given it too.

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  2. I feel for you, I really do. This is part of “knowing better than they do”, I guess. We just don’t expect it to start so early. x However, it has happened now and there is nowt to be done. All we can do is…hide the shoes and say they are lost x 😉

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  3. Thanks very much for your comments, ladies. Really appreciate you commenting and really appreciate your support! I’ve had nothing but positive comments, yet why does it feel like all the other Year 1 parents I encounter are singing from an entirely different song sheet? If their daughters are allowed heels – and indeed they all make a big fuss about how pretty they are – of course my daughter will want them. I wish I could just say ‘No, it’s chavvy, you’re not having them.’ But that would be unfair of me.
    Hiding the shoes… Now there’s an idea… Thanks. x

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  4. It’s at times like this I’m glad I have a boy! I really don’t envy your position but whole-heartedly agree with how you feel. Mind you, I can’t remember any of the little girls at my son’s school wearing heels for parties at that age. Is this a new thing?
    I do think, even if children are spending their own money, there should be boundaries of what you feel, as a parent, is acceptable for them to buy, particularly when they are so young. I’d be tempted to stick to your guns and insist the shoes are for dressing-up only. But then, who am I to talk: you’re the one who will have to deal with the fall-out!!

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  5. lol as the mum of three girls I have felt your pain and will continue to do so for a while (as my youngest is 2 and a half).

    I’m sure your daughter will remember her ‘gorgeous’ shoes similarly to the way I could tell you about a silver pair not unlike those (though they didn’t have any special insoles of course).

    Great blog!

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  6. Trish – it’s at times like this I’m glad I’ve got two boys! I love my little girl to bits and I’m grateful every single day that I have her, but I realise that if I had to have three of ‘one sort’ I’d prefer three boys to three girls. Boys fight and boys fart. That’s really all you need to know about boys. They’re pretty straightforward. As long as I buy my boys clothes in the colours they like, they are fine!
    Unfortunately, and surprisingly, my husband and I aren’t on the same page here – he thinks it’s cute that she wants to wear them to parties and doesn’t see a problem with it, so my view is a minority one! Oh well. Thanks very much for commenting.

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  7. Jane – so you’ve got the family I realise I couldn’t cope with! I’m not a girly girl myself, so having one is a bit of a surprise. Good luck with dealing this stuff in the coming years and thanks very much for taking the time to comment.

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  8. Couldn’t agree with you more! I dread the day this isn’t an argument I can no longer win, heels shouldn’t feature in childhood so far as I’m concerned but of course you don’t want them to feel like they’re missing out or the possibility of having fun poked at them because they aren’t allowed them. Its a really fine line.

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    • Thanks very much! This is an old post and my daughter is 11 now and I still think there is no place for heels in her life! Luckily she hasn’t asked for them since 🙂 They’ve got their whole lives to look like grown ups once they’re adults, they don’t need to start at 6 – or 11!

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