I like to stay, pretty positive on this blog, but I hope you’ll excuse me a little pity party today. Because sometimes, right now, today, this week I feel Not Good Enough.
I’m a freelance writer and work has been pretty thin on the ground lately. It’s a summer thing, I think (I hope). My regular clients have had less work for me than usual and I’ve lost count of the number of potential clients that have come and gone over the last year or so. I don’t think I’ve secured a single job off a single one of these people, who come in all enthusiastic about what they need and what I can do for them. And I CAN do it for them. So I don’t know why it comes to nothing all the time. Maybe they realise they don’t actually want anyone after all, that they can do it themselves. Maybe I don’t sell myself well enough. Maybe I’m just not good enough.
One potential client had me travel out to their headquarters, showed me round the whole place, told me I could do their social media and asked me to write an intro for their web page homepage. I wrote the intro and sent it off and didn’t get so much as a thank you. I chased it up, still nothing. After me travelling out to their business, not so much as a ‘thank you, but it’s not quite what we were looking for’.
I’ll be honest, I know I’m not great at selling myself. When people ask me what I do, I say ‘I just write stuff’. Because, at its most basic form, that is what I do. Sometimes I even say ‘I sit on my arse and I write stuff’ (although I don’t say that to potential clients). Writing stuff isn’t rocket science. But it’s not easy either. It’s remarkable how few people can do it.
But I can do it. I can write about any subject in any tone of voice. My grammar is good. I always meet a deadline.
If I get the chance to talk to someone or respond to an email, I will tell them this. In the right tone of voice, of course. But I still don’t think I’m really selling myself. Because I won’t bullshit. I won’t make myself out to be better than I am. I’m just me, sat at home in my scruffy jeans in my cold house, tapping away on my computer at the breakfast bar.
Unlike a lot of bloggers, I’m not a professional blogger. Blogging is my hobby, albeit a rather time consuming one. But blogging pays way better than freelance writing. Sometimes a commercial opportunity will come up and I will take it, because I would be stupid not to. I charge less than a lot of bloggers, but a single sponsored post still covers nearly two days’ worth of earnings from freelance writing for me.
There aren’t many blogging opportunities for people like me and blogs like mine. Nobody wants to throw money or stuff at bloggers with teenagers. Recently an opportunity came up that was right up my street – a perfect fit with my blog and local to me too. Surely I could get this one?
But I didn’t. It turns out they were only looking for one blogger and, understandably, they opted for a blogger with a bigger social reach. But I don’t mind telling you that it made me feel a bit crap about myself. Not good enough. Like the times I’ve been turned down for blogging opportunities to do with ballet. My ballet posts are my most read posts by a considerable distance. There is one post which is my second most popular post EVERY SINGLE DAY. But do PR companies look at a blog and decide it’s a good fit for a post about ballet or a ballet product, or do they just look for the blog with the biggest numbers?
I know exactly what they do.
And right now, today, this week I feel a bit crap about that. Right now, today, this week I feel Not Good Enough.