Following on from my post about being a football mum, I thought it would be helpful to share my vast knowledge of being a ballet mum.
Again, this is based purely on my own experiences and may need to be taken with a handful of salt in parts.
The bun is everything. I didn’t get that at first. What’s wrong with a falling-out plait? They can do ballet just as well with it.
They can’t. Don’t argue with the bun. Learn how to do an immaculate bun as soon as possible – get the other mums to teach you, let your daughter watch YouTube videos to learn herself, get your mum round to help. Do whatever it takes, but get that bun right!
Don’t ever cheapen your bun with a *shudder* donut. And make sure you use grips and a net which are the same colour as your daughter’s hair so they are ‘invisible’. And if it needs spray? Be liberal with that Elnett!
It is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE to look down on and frown at other people’s buns. Unless yours is crap.
Likewise the leotard, the shoes, the socks, the tights. Get them right. There is a uniform. Stick with it! Don’t consider wearing socks or tights that are *shudder* not regulation. Just don’t. You are letting your daughter down, but most of all, you are letting yourself down. And I’m not angry. Just disappointed.
Ballet is a discipline. It can seem a bit old-fashioned. Just go with it. Don’t rebel against it. There is no place for individualism and rebellion in a ballet class. Go and join a street class if you want to be individual.
The teacher will cheerily call her pupils ‘girls’ and will encourage them to be beautiful – beautiful arms, beautiful necks, beautiful smiles. This is nothing to be afraid of. She isn’t saying they’re overweight and should immediately become anorexic, she’s just teaching them to perform.
If you do have the misfortune to go to a body fascist ballet school, get out of there! There are nice ballet schools out there which treat your children well.
They will do exams. Exams are even stricter and more serious than ballet classes. The bun WILL need to be sprayed. They will need to practise at home before their exams (the dancing and the hair).
The ‘practise at home’ music can get a little irritating.
Ballet mums can be a bit snooty and cliquey. If you’re in the clique, lucky you! If you’re not, you might find that your phone is really, really interesting. Or take a book. The other mums might engage in literary discussion with you. But most likely they will be talking about school fees and nannies.
Remember all of that and you too can be a successful ballet mum! Is there anything else you would add?