I don’t dress up. Ever. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just a grumpy old woman. I like the way I dress and I’m happy with that. I don’t feel the need to add sparkles and heels and flash my bits. I’m not in any way trying to hide my body, but at the same time I have no desire to show it off. I used to make the odd concession a few years back, but recently I’ve become proper stubborn about it.
I dress like a teenage boy. On the school run. On evenings out. Wherever. That’s the way I am, it’s who I am and I don’t want to change.
Most people love to dress up, but that part of me is missing. I don’t mind looking like the odd one out in my jeans and checked shirt and no make-up while everyone else is in dresses, false eyelashes and twinkly bits. I feel much more comfortable being the odd one out than wearing things I don’t like.
The only exception I will make is for weddings, but even then the key is ‘understated’. I will buy a cotton dress that most people would wear for work and I will hate buying shoes and I will hate wearing the shoes and I will almost certainly ditch the shoes and never wear them again as soon as possible.
Tonight is the work Christmas ‘do’. We’re going to a restaurant for a meal, then no doubt some people will be out all night drinking. Although I won’t. We are ‘dressing up’. Well I’m not, I’m wearing my jeans. I will wear my dark coloured ones, which are smarter than my light coloured one,s and I will wear a shirt instead of a hoodie.
But this isn’t good enough. There is talk of ‘sparkles’ and ‘shopping’. I am under pressure to go into actual shops just before Christmas to buy something I don’t need. AND WEAR IT. Or, I could borrow something.
I am neither poor nor tight, yet I have never understood the fascination with shopping or with buying things you will only wear once. I am happy to look at things in the shops and I agree they look nice. In the shops. I have no desire to take them home with me and put them on.
But then I got home from work and I had a think. Maybe, just MAYBE, I could do it. I thought of one of my colleagues who is cool and rock ‘n’ roll, way cooler and more rock ‘n’ roll than me. She dresses up, but she does it in her own way. It doesn’t involved short sparkly number and heels from Top Shop, Tesco or Primark.
Could I do it in my own way?
I remembered a quirky little dress – with flamingos on. I’d wanted it for my cousin’s wedding three years ago, but when I came to buy it, it wasn’t there any more. So I bought a different dress. Then I saw it for a third of the price in an outlet shop. It was missing its belt, but it didn’t need it anyway. So I bought it. I’ve worn it to a couple of Christmas parties over the years. It looks good and it isn’t sparkly. I’ll wear it with my (fake) leather jacket and my heeled Dr Martens.
I’ll be dressing up. But I’ll still be ME.
My colleagues are happy with me, they are looking forward to seeing me glammed up. They won’t be seeing any make-up, though. That would be a step too far.
(Am I weird?)