This happened a few weeks ago and it’s been making me fume on and off ever since. It’s such a small thing, but it’s wound me up on so many levels.
My daughter does four dance classes a week – two at each of two dance schools. The class she joined most recently and enjoys the least is tap. It’s not as cool as street or as graceful as ballet, but I think there’s another reason she doesn’t enjoy it as much.
The ballet and tap school is a bit cliquey. On ballet day she’s there with a few friends from school and a few private school kids. On tap day it’s almost entirely private school kids and she’s got just one friend from school there. Every week when we arrive, the private school kids (and the private school mums) are all chatting together. None of them acknowledge our presence. My daughter comes in quietly, changes her shoes quietly and sits quietly with me until it’s time for class to start. Nobody speaks to her or smiles at her.
A few weeks ago, the private school girls had a big bag of sweets – the sort with lots of smaller packets inside. The sort which could easily be shared by an ENTIRE tap dance class. They were chatting, giggling and sharing the sweets. With each other. Every single girl in that class had a bag of sweets apart from my daughter and her friend.
Why? Why did they do that?
I felt hurt by it and I knew my daughter would too. I hoped she wouldn’t notice, but of course she would. She’s 8 and she’s a bright, observant girl. She doesn’t miss anything.
But it was a couple of days until she mentioned it. She’d obviously been stewing over it too. Why didn’t they share? It wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t fair at all. If one girl had shared with her best friend only, that would have been fine. But to share with 90% of the class and leave only two out, that’s not fair. Why didn’t the girls notice? Are they so far up themselves that they just can’t see it or don’t care? Do they think they’re so much better than my daughter in their posh school? And what about the parents? Why didn’t any of them point out the two girls who didn’t have any sweets? Well, they really ARE too far up themselves. There’s no hope for them. I’m guessing there’s no hope for the girls either. They can live their selfish little lives.
My daughter is a strong person. She goes there to dance. She doesn’t go there to mess around. Not everyone could carry on if they were excluded as she is, but she’s bigger than they are. And I’m proud of her for that.