My affectionate girl

In just a few days, my little girl will turn 13. A teenager. She’s nearly as tall as me. She’s clever, confident and independent. But she is also the most affectionate person I know. The most affectionate person I have ever known. And I hope she never changes.

My husband and I have a quite ridiculous number of pet names and terms of endearment for my daughter. She won’t get out of bed without a hug, or several hugs. I basically hug her out of bed ever day, then walk her to the bathroom with her head on my shoulder. If I could still carry her, I have no doubt that she would like me to carry her there.

I tell her I love her several times a day – when she wakes up, when she goes to bed and a number of times in between. I kiss her every time I go near her. When she watches TV, she snuggles up to me or her daddy. Her daddy CAN still carry her and will sometimes give her a piggyback. We do it because she likes it. She thrives on affection.

My daughter still calls us Mummy and Daddy, even in front of her friends, and I love that. I hope it never changes. My kids might be teenagers now, but I still feel like ‘Mummy’, not ‘Mum’.

I don’t treat my boys like this, not because I love them any less, not because I don’t want to hug them, but because they don’t want it. A brief occasional hug or a little stroke of the arm is as much as they want. They don’t want to be told I love them – even though I would love to tell them I do. It’s not because they’re boys and she’s a girl. It’s because they’re all different people. I’m sure they know I love them just as much as their sister, and I show them that by treating them how they want to be treated.

I’m very grateful that I’ve got such an affectionate girl. I know that kids change when they reach the teenage years and that we’re probably on borrowed time and she won’t be as affectionate for much longer. So I’m going to treasure every hug while I still can.

Mother, Daughter, Tween, Teenager, My affectionate girl


Author: Sarah Mummy

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  1. Aww! Your girl really sounds lovely. Hugging her out of bed us just adorable. I hope the affection lasts for a while longer x

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    • Thanks very much, I do too! She really is adorable. x

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  2. Oh that’s lovely to hear! Funnily enough I totally relate to the different treatment due to different personalities because my two are polar opposites. My eldest isn’t very affectionate at all and doesn’t want to be bothered much with us, but my youngest has always been incredibly cuddly and affectionate. I hope she will stay like that too just like your daughter 🙂

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    • That’s sweet. It’s interesting to hear that your eldest already doesn’t want affection at such a young age. I know my younger son stopped holding my hand going into school in year 1, whereas my daughter didn’t stop until halfway through year 6. Now she links her arm through mine, which is a grown up version of holding my hand. x

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  3. Ah this is lovely to hear she is so affectionate, and long may it continue. Funnily even my son is more affectionate towards me than his sister, who is always declaring she hates hugs (sob). She still calls me Mummy though x

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    • That’s a shame about the hugs, but it’s nice that she still calls you Mummy. My younger son hates hugs, but will have the occasional one from me. Nobody else is allowed to touch him though. x

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  4. yes they do grow up all to quick, quite right to make the most of it. I think it is lovely she is still happy to do it in ear shot of her pals.
    My daughters still give me a hug before they leave the house once they have visited, and they are hovering around the 40 age mark.

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    • Thanks very much, I am definitely making the most of it. She is such a delight. It helps that her friends are all lovely too. It’s nice to hear that your daughters all give you a hug too. I hug my mum on special occasions! I do wish I did it more really.

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  5. IF only I could be like this with my teen boys!! Can you imagine? I hope that I have the same sort of relationship with my daughter when she reaches this age. She is very affectionate too but her brothers won’t let me near them most of the time. I think it is lovely that you have such a great relationship with her and I hope it doesn’t change any time soon

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    • Thanks very much, I really hope it doesn’t change any time soon! It sounds like you have very similar dynamics in your family too with your teen boys. I hope your daughter doesn’t change either.

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