My looks or my daughter’s feelings?

When it comes to my looks, I’m about as low maintenance as it’s possible to be.

I don’t wear make-up at all, apart from my signature blue nail varnish. Actually, I don’t even POSSESS any make-up. My time-consuming and clinical skincare routine has nothing to do with beauty and everything to do with keeping my acne, rosacea, eczema and blepharitis under control. And I last had my hair cut about four years ago. The split ends which plagued me through my teens and 20s are a thing of the past and my hair just doesn’t seem to grow any more. So why bother getting it cut?

But back in 2010, I decided my hair was getting a bit too grey, so I started dyeing it. I say ‘I’, it was actually my mum. Every six weeks or so (apart from when I took a break because I decided it was making my skin worse), she would apply a semi-permanent dye, which wouldn’t get rid of the grey altogether, but would at least disguise it a bit.

Before Christmas, my mum wasn’t very well and I realised my hair was shockingly bad. I had a rare Christmas party to go to, so I asked my daughter to dye my hair for me.

My daughter is the hair expert in our house. She creates some incredible styles in her own hair, which people often comment on, always assuming Mummy has done them. But how would she get on with dyeing my hair?

It was a strange experience, me sat on the toilet lid, wrapped in towels, while my little girl buzzed about me in oversized plastic gloves, rubbing dye into my hair. And when it dried, it wasn’t bad. Not as good as my mum, but OK. She’d missed the roots further down my head, but the top layer was at least done.

Fast forward to the end of January and my hair needed dyeing again.

‘I must get Grandma to dye my hair.’

‘No, I do it now.’

So I let her do it again, possibly against my better judgement. She used the dye too sparingly at first, but then somehow managed to use it all up before the whole head had been covered. And I wondered if I was a bit mad. Clearly my hair wasn’t going to look great.

What woman in her right mind would sacrifice what tiny bit of looks she has left at the age of 43 to keep her daughter happy? Am I not perhaps mad to care so little about my looks that I would rather get a 10 year old girl to dye it than go to a hairdresser like a normal human being? Should I just put my foot down and put myself first or should I just spare my daughter’s feelings and let her keep dyeing my hair? Because she’s only going to get better at it, after all.

What do you think? Am I mad? Should I care more about my looks? Should I get someone else to dye my hair?

Hair dye, Hair, Looks

Author: Sarah Mummy

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  1. Hmm a tough one. Personally I would try and find an in between. I would let her do my hair but in front of a camera so I could instruct her a little bit until she got the hang of it. Maybe let your mum help her a couple of times? And if she didn’t want to listen then I would put my foot down and not let her again. Good luck whatever you decide x

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    • Thanks very much! I like the idea of her helping my mum a bit. I could never put my foot down! She definitely did a better job second time around than first time around! x

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  2. My first thought was that there would be no way I would let my 11 year old near my hair. But I suppose your daughter is thinking that if she was allowed to do it before Christmas then why shouldn’t she do it. A difficult one, and I would probably go with Sharon too. Let your mum do it but with your daughter helping out too. Or failing that book into the hairdresser every time. I have only ever dyed my hair once in my twenties, and not looking forward to constant hair dying x

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    • Thanks very much! I’ve never been to the hairdresser to get it done because I didn’t fancy the constant return visits to get my roots done. I like the idea of doing it with my mum a couple of times, although she definitely did better second time around than she did the first time! x

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  3. Oh gosh nooo, I’m with you, I’d have let her do it as well. I’m really past caring what my hair looks like but I love the idea of children learning a new skill. Who knows, hairdressing might be her new love. It’s a great vocation!

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    • Ha ha, I love this! You and me are definitely cut from the same cloth. There are way more important things in life than hair and my daughter isn’t your average kind of 11 year old. She’s very good at hair and creates the most amazing styles in her own, so dyeing mine is just an extension of that! x

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  4. I think it is nice she wants to do – and as you say she will only get better at it. I believe it is helping her develop a new skill and her confidence. I am fussy about my hair though – not so much what it looks like but the condition so personally wouldn’t as I would be worried that too much would go on one part and make it brittle. I do let my husband do it though – and your dd may know what she’s doing better than a man who appreciates what hair he has left!

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    • That’s a good point about developing a new skill and confidence. I hadn’t even considered that! My husband has done mine once before, but I think my daughter does a better job than him. She takes so much pride in her own hair that she just seems to understand it better!

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