For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled to spend money on myself. I just don’t seem to be able to justify it.
We’re not poor by any stretch of the imagination – we live in a five bedroomed house, we have two cars (oldish ones) and our kids do lots of activities. But five people and lots of activities add up and there never seems to be an awful lot left at the end of the month. So I do that typical mum thing and put myself last.
I’m always horrified when I see women endlessly posting new shoes on social media. I know, it’s totally their own choice. But I don’t get how they can afford it or justify it. Because I certainly can’t!
I realise I never buy myself anything and now I’ve left it too long and I need a lot of stuff. I get Superdry Tshirts and hoodies for my birthday and Christmas. I also get a Superdry Tshirt every Mother’s Day, wedding anniversary and Valentine’s Day. It means I never have to buy them. The last thing I bought for myself was a pair of jeans last autumn and I was so embarrassed that I’d bought them (even though I needed them), that I didn’t tell my husband. I can’t remember what I bought before that. It was probably another pair of jeans a year earlier.
The last time I bought myself some shoes was my Converse, nearly three years ago. They wore out last spring and my husband bought me some Cath Kidston/ Gola trainers for our wedding anniversary last July. Now they’ve worn out too. So have my running trainers, which I got to review nearly two years ago and I’ve run over 1,000 miles in them. And my wellies, which I got for Christmas about five years ago.
My socks have all got holes in, as I didn’t get any for Christmas. I’m now throwing away a pair a week and desperately need new ones.
I’ve got two pairs of jeans with holes in (not designer holes), which I’m still wearing on weekdays. (I wear jeans seven days a week, 365 days a year.)
I’ve got a voucher and discount code I can use to replace my wellies, but I still need two pairs of trainers, not to mention the jeans and the socks!
I know I’m going to have to bite the bullet and just spend some money, but I don’t even know where to start! There’s always more important things we need to spend our money on. I know it’s silly – if the kids had holes in their trainers or jeans, I would just replace them. I’m constantly buying my eldest new socks, but I just can’t bring myself to buy them for me!
Does anyone else worry about spending money on themselves?