The new and improved big brother

If there’s one thing you can categorically say about our family, it’s this:

My eldest and my daughter don’t get on.

Like really, really don’t get on.

They are on at each other from the moment they first see each other in the morning until after my daughter has gone to bed (my son always has to go into her room to ‘borrow’ something aka taunt her, even when she’s in bed).

It’s usually my son that starts it with some nasty comment, but then my daughter will fly off the handle at him. And so it will start. Every single, flipping day.

It’s exhausting. I’ll admit I get fed up of listening to it and dealing with it and trying to stop it. Telling them off, reasoning with them, ignoring them… None of it works.

On the rare occasions my son is nice to my daughter, she still flies off the handle at him. Then he gets cross at her because he was being nice. He can’t understand that he picks on her so often that she’s just being defensive. She doesn’t trust him and doesn’t believe he could be nice.

During November and December, my son had something new to pick on my daughter about. The panto.

It made him cross that she was doing it. That she wasn’t being paid. That it was costing the family money in terms of fuel costs, ticket prices and buying things like leotards and tights.

And he really, really didn’t want to go and see it. Why did he have to go and see it? Why did we get him a ticket?

We got him a ticket, of course, because we were proud of my daughter and we wanted her brother to see her. The panto had been a huge part of our lives for weeks and we wanted him to see why it was all worth it. He came along just before the end of the run, when we went in a big group with my parents, sister, brother-in-law and niece.

And guess what happened?

He loved it.

He didn’t just love the panto, he loved my daughter’s performance. He was so proud of her.

Suddenly his sister was the best dancer, actor and comedian in the world. And she was HIS sister! He told everyone about it. He even posted about it on Instagram (praise indeed from a teenager!).

Oh, and he really, really had to see the panto again.

The panto has done something I could never do. It has, for as long as it lasts, made my son appreciate his little sister again. He is actually being nice to her and the world is a better place.

While we are searching for a drama group or something to help her get over the panto, as well as build on the skills she’s picked up, he’s talking to his friend about one of the groups. He’s coming home every day with advice on why my daughter must join this particular group (because his friend said so).

And the other day my daughter announced: ‘Big brother said I should be in Swan Lake when I’m older’.

He’s possibly slightly over-estimating her talents there, but what a lovely thing to say!

It’s so nice to have peace between my kids and I’m going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Thank you, panto, you really are magical!

Tickets, Panto, Pantomime, Daugther, 365o

Author: Sarah Mummy

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35 Comments

  1. Oh Sarah that’s incredible; to praise your little sister on social media is indeed high praise from a teenager and it’s lovely that he’s trying to find out the best am dram group for her. I hope it lasts until the next run at least. 😉

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    • Thanks very much. I hope so too! Somehow I suspect it won’t last that long, but I’m grateful for every day it does last!

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  2. Must be something in the air at the moment – it’s my older two that are usually like this, but over Christmas they actually got in like a house on fire! They must miss each other now she is away so much I guess! But like you I am really enjoying the break from hostilities – long may it continue!!

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    • That sounds lovely! Maybe as your daughter isn’t around so much it will actually last? I doubt ours will last forever, but I’m taking it as it comes!

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  3. I love this! It’s so great that they’ve just naturally started getting along better. It makes sense too, of course they love each other and are proud of each other deep down, it just takes something to make them realise it. I hope the peace and harmony lasts 🙂

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    • Thanks very much, so do I! It really took me by surprise – especially as the pantomime was something he had previously been so negative about, but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.

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  4. The first thing I thought when I read it was that maybe there was a bit of jealousy on your son’s part, which would be completely natural. It’s something I often think about with my two as one is an actor. Good for your son that he went and he enjoyed the experience. It says a lot about him. He could well become her biggest fan. 😉 X

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    • Thanks very much, maybe he could! I’ve always thought he is a bit jealous of both of his siblings, which is a shame. It’s funny how ultimately her getting more attention is what made him appreciate her more! x

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  5. This is such a wonderful read Sarah! I think the sibling bickering is generally rooted in jealousy and competition. I imagine your son struggled to cope with all the attention his sister was getting. I know my girls are like that. What a turn around!

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    • Thanks very much, tell me about it! It really took me by surprise. I think being able to be proud of her and show off about her somehow made him appreciate her more! It’s like he was able to bask in a bit of her glory.

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  6. Ahhhh wow what a lovely change and the bit about swan lake is just lovely. It’s a massive thing for teens to publicly praise their smaller siblings so he must be so so proud! Xx

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    • It certainly is! I think for him it was taking a bit of her glory. He realised everyone was impressed with her, so he wanted to share in that. x

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  7. Aww! That is fantastic! So lovely to read that they are getting along better! I hope it lasts x

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    • Thanks very much. I really hope so too! x

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  8. Thanks very much, I really hope so! It’s certainly taken me by surprise. x

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  9. so good to hear this Sarah, I’m glad now I clicked on the post I assumed it was the TV reality show and wondered what on earth you were going to write about it. Sadly my eldest and middle son don’t get on and haven’t for a long time, but as they’ve both left home now I leave them to it

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    • Ha ha, that made me laugh you thinking it would be about the TV show. I definitely wouldn’t have anything to say about that!
      Sorry to hear that your eldest and middle one don’t get on. I would love my kids to all be friends into adulthood, but we will see what happens!

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  10. What a lovely post! Well the ending obviously! I look at my two – 9 and 7 – and they have such a fantastic relationship that I hope will never change! Hope it continues 🙂

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    • Thanks very much. It’s fantastic that your two have such a good relationship. My two boys get on well together and the younger two get on well together, but the relationship between my eldest and daughter has been difficult for a long time now. I’m hoping this is the start of something better!

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  11. Ah that is so lovely! My two don’t get on and I do worry quite a lot about what they will be like when they are older but this has given me hope! What a fab tale x

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    • Thanks very much! I’m sorry to hear your two don’t get on. I hope things improve between them in the future. My two boys get on and the younger two get on too, it’s just this particular pairing which has always given us difficulties. x

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  12. That’s so lovely to read! My brother and I always argued constantly, but underneath it all we did and do love each other. I hope this is the start of new mutual respect and a bit of peace and harmony for you #SSAA

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    • Thanks very much, I really hope so too! It’s good to hear that you and your brother love each other really! I think it’s sad when siblings aren’t friends when they’re grown up. I’m not particularly close to my brother, but he gets on very well with my eldest and we see him every few weeks.

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  13. That is fantastic! How lovely for your son to be so proud of his sister and how fantastic for you that peace has returned

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    • Thank you! It is such a nice feeling and I really thought it would never happen. Now I’d just like it to continue!

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  14. It is refreshing to read a post where siblings do not get on. I often look at social media and think that ALL siblings get on and why an earth are mine different. I could be reading about my two with the taunting and then youngest always shouts the loudest (drama queen). They do have their fantastic moments but its certainly not every day. I am so glad for you that your eldest has seen his sister in a new light. And praising her on social media…. well that is a huge compliment from a teen xx

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    • You’re right – there is a feeling on social media that all siblings get on. To be fair, my two boys get on well together and the younger two get on well together, it’s just this particular pairing which has always been difficult!
      Now I’ve just got to hope that this new relationship will continue. x

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  15. Aww how lovely! Sibling relationships can be so funny, can’t they? And change so much at different points in people’s lives too. #SSAmazingAchievements

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    • Thanks very much, they really can be funny! I’m hoping it lasts now!

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  16. Oh what a wonderful story!!

    My eldest son and youngest daughter are probably the closest they’re partners in crime with him using her as an excuse to act like a toddlers. Probably the worst relationship in my family are the two middle children but all the arguing between the whole lot is exhausting…
    Please do send a bit of that magic panto dust our way!!

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    • It is exhausting, isn’t it? I’ll send you some of that dust! I’m still waiting to find out if it will last forever or if it’s just a brief and happy blip!

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  17. Awww what a heartwarming post. Shows that, deep down, they do love each other. It just takes a big event like the panto to bring it out of them

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    • Thanks very much, it’s a real relief as I was genuinely starting to wonder whether they did love each other.

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  18. Wow – that’s fantastic. Glad that things seem to be improving between them – long may it continue xxx

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  19. I love this, I’m so glad the panto has brought them together. My brother is ten years older than me so I never knew this sibling rivalry. I really hope it continues and they build on it.

    Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)
    x

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  1. Small Steps Amazing Achievements – 27/01/16 » AutismMumma - […] lovely post from @sarahMo3W about how the panto made this sibling relationship stronger […]

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