How yummy are you?

Wow, the Yummy mummy dilemma certainly got people talking, with mums fessing up their own yummy crimes whilst simultaneously worming their way out with a series of excuses.

My yummy credentials were clearly set out yesterday. But what about some of the others? Mum A shops at White Stuff and had her daughter quite late in life, but her wellies are from Sainsburys and she doesn’t have dogs or chickens. Mum B grows her own veg and drinks lots of wine, but she had her kids young and has never frequented White Stuff. Mum C likes to shop for locally produced, organic food and loves NCT, but doesn’t wear White Stuff.

So how yummy are you? There’s only one way to find out… (No, not fight – you don’t believe in your children witnessing violence and would never smack them.)

What brand of wellies do you wear?

a) Hunter (5 points)
b) Milletts (3 points)
c) Tesco (1 points)
d) I haven’t got wellies, what would I need wellies for? (0 points)

Do you shop at Tesco?

a) No, I prefer Aldi (0 points)
b) Yes (1 point)
c) No, they are destroying British agriculture (5 points)

Do your sons play rugby?

a) Yes (5 points)
b) No, they’re too young, but will start as soon as they are 5 (5 points)
c) No way, Jose (0 points)

Does anyone in your family wear rugby shirts as daywear?

a) Yes, with the collars turned up (5 points)
b) Yes (4 points)
c) No (0 points)

Do you shop at White Stuff?

a) Yes (5 points)
b) I just go in because I like the decor, but I don’t buy anything (3 points)
c) No way, Jose (0 points)

Do you buy your own clothes in Joules?

a) Yes (5 points)
b) No, but I buy the kids’ clothes there (4 points)
c) It’s just one hat, OK, get over it (4 points)
d) No (0 points)

Do you shop locally at organic bakeries and delis?

a) Yes, it’s important to support our local economy (5 points)
b) No (0 points)

Did you do NCT when you had your kids?

a) Yes (5 points)
b) No, just church toddler group (2 points)
c) No (0 points)

And for a bonus five points, do you say ‘Our NCT isn’t like that?’

Does anyone in your family wear tweed?

a) Yes (5 points)
b) No (0 points)

Have you ever taken over half a park for a mums and toddlers picnic?

a) Yes, even in rain (5 points)
b) Yes, sometimes (4 points)
c) No, never (0 points)

Have you ever breastfed in Starbucks?

a) Yes, with all my NCT friends (5 points)
b) Yes, on my own (3 points)
c) Ugh! That’s disgusting (0 points)

Have you ever been on a dog walk with other mums and toddlers from your village?

a) Yes, it’s tremendous fun (5 points)
b) No (0 points)

Do you grown your own organic produce?

a) Yes (5 points)
b) No (1 point)
c) No, we don’t eat fruit and vegetables in our house (0 points)

Do you have chickens?

a) Yes, nothing beats the taste of a truly free range egg (5 points)
b) No (1 point)
c) No, I don’t even have a garden (0 point)

Do you own a pair of brown knee-high, flat boots?

a) Yes, they’re essential for the horses (5 points)
b) Yes, a cheap pair from Barratts (2 points)
c) No (0 points)

How old were you when you had your first child?

a) Over 35 (5 points)
b) Over 30 (3 points)
c) Under 30 (1 point)
d) Under 25 (0 points)

Do your children play with wooden toys?

a) Yes, I don’t allow plastic in the house (5 points)
b) They’ve got one or two (3 points)
c) No (0 points)

Do you drink coffee?

a) Yes, I can’t start the day without fresh coffee from the local organic bakery (5 points)
b) Yes, Starbucks or Costa (3 points)
c) Yes, Nescafe (0 points)
d) No (0 pints)

Do you drink wine?

a) Yes, I love a drop of red with dinner (5 points)
b) Yes, I like to get pissed at weekends (0 pints)
c) No, I prefer jaegerbombs (0 points)
d) No (0 points)

So how did you do?

80-100 points – Wow, you are yummier than Pippa Middleton on a polo pony at a country fete in the Cotswolds.

50-79 – You’ve got the balance about right. You want what’s best for your kids, but you realise that sometimes that can come from Tesco rather than a darling little farm shop.

Less than 50 – Your feet are firmly on the ground. You’ve got no time for picnics and dog walks, you are too busy just getting yourself and your kids through the day.

Less than 20 – Well you’ve got no worries about being yummy. In fact, one or two yummy habits might actually do you some good. Try a walk in the countryside or maybe eating some vegetables.

In case you’re wondering, I got 31 – and I added up after I’d written the definitions 🙂

Author: Sarah Mummy

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  1. I got 9 points. No surprise really as I don’t have boys, never breast fed and don’t shop in White Stuff Joules or Boden (whatever that is).
    I also suspect that I am Mum B xxx

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  2. 12 points I think 🙁 Got lots of yummying to catch up on Loved this post 🙂

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  3. This is brilliant. I’m really distressed that I’m not fully yummy (I scored 31, but I love picnics without crowds and I love walking but am hampered by doglessness!)

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  4. Thanks! 🙂 I think I got 31 too, no dog, but habit of going into Joules and White Stuff even though I don’t buy it! I breastfed in public too, Have boys who play rugby, but no NCT in my life!

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  5. Lol x I did NCT but the rest can all go stick it 🙂 firmly grounded me thinks xx

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  6. Thanks very much! From what I’ve read of you I would totally agree – you are very grounded! x

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