The Longest Day part 6

It’s mid-afternoon on that day last August when I just wondered how many questions my kids asked in a day. So I wrote them down. The results surprised even me. The questions aren’t always funny. Sometimes they are actually relevant or make sense. But they are continuous. There is no let-up.
If you don’t know what it’s like to have three children read parts 1-6 one after the other. Then have a long lie down. If anything, it’s a great contraceptive.

The kids here are aged 9, 6 3/4 and 4 1/4.

LG: What is Irish?
Me: It means from Ireland.
LG: What is Ireland?
Me: It’s kind of another country.
LG: Is it different food there?

B2: Can I put my top on now?
Me: Do you have to?
B2: Yes.

LG: Why did that boy’s hat keep falling off?
Me: I don’t know.

B2: When the red Puffles are on fire, do you know what colour they turn?
Me: Black?
B2: No, red.

LG: Why do you need pyjamas? You’ve already got two pairs.
Me: Because I need to walk backwards and forwards to Grandma’s house on Saturday.
(Context – Saturday is my sister’s wedding day and for some reason it seemed a good idea to me to walk the streets dressed in a pair of new pyjamas!)

B1: Did you hear what she said?
Me: I did and I’ve had enough of it. I want you all to be quiet.

LG: Mummy, what is this shop called?
Me: Primark.

LG: Why was there only one person upstairs?
Me: I don’t know.

LG: Which way is it?
Me: This way.

B1: Do you think LG will get on XFactor? She won’t get very far. Do you think I’m right? She won’t get very far.

B2: Mummy, when we get to the car park, can I go to the car park toilets?
Me: No, they’re disgusting.
B2: But I’m desperate.
Me: And we’re late for the car park.
B1: Should someone go back to the car?
Me: Could you wait here and walk B2 back safely?
LG: Why did B1 wait there?
Me: To walk B2 safely back across the car park.

Me: Shall we go to M&S to get a voucher for Laura and Mike?
B1: What will they spend it on?
Me: Furniture.
B2: What will we spend it on?
Me: We’re not spending it.

LG: Why are we going this way?
Me: To get a voucher for Laura.
LG: What’s a voucher?
Me: Money to spend in a shop.

LG: Do we need to go upstairs?
Me: No.

B2: Can I buy one of these?
Me: No, you can’t.

LG: Did I buy one of them?
Me: Yes, you bought one with your own money.
LG: Did the boys buy one?
Me: Yes, they bought one with their own money.

LG: We’re not dead.
Me: You only die once, LG.
B1: What about if you get the kiss of life?
Me: Well, you’re not dead. Your heart may have stopped beating or you have may have stopped breathing, but you’re not dead.
LG: How do people get dead?
Me: So many different ways, LG. Now can I concentrate on driving?

B2: Do you know where B1 is?
Me: I don’t know, is he in the garden?

B1: Mummy, have they rented that house?
Me: Those new people?
B1: Yes.
LG: What does rented mean?
Me: It means pay money to borrow something.
LG: Is that a big house?
Me: Yes.
LG: We’ll never have that house.

LG: Mummy, can I have some milk?
Me: Yes.
LG: And some telly?
Me: Yes, just a minute.

LG: You cut it into slices for me? Yay! Can I have it with milk and telly?
Me: Yes.
B2: Milk?
Me: You want milk as well?
B1: Milk?
Me: You want milk as well?

LG: Did B2 say tea or not tea?
Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
LG: Did he say he’d finished his tea or his fruit?
Me: His fruit.

B1: Do you like my new badge, Mummy?
Me: Very nice. You owe me some money for that, remember.
B1: Mummy, do you want some 50 pences?
Me: Yes, you know I always like 50 pences.
B1: Do you want £2 worth of them?
Me: Yes please, if you’ve got them.

B1: Can we go in the car?
Me: Did you say go in the car to Grandma’s? No way.

LG: Why did you bring pasta?
Me: Because Grandma wants me to.
LG: Why?
Me: Because she hasn’t got any.

B2: Can I wear these?
Me: No.

Me: Don’t do that, B1.
LG: What is it?
Me: A little water pistol.
LG: Can I see the little water pistol?

Me: I want to take a photo of you in these Tshirts.
LG: Shall we go like this?
Me: I’d rather you didn’t.

LG: Please can you get my cup?
Me: In a minute, I’ve only got one pair of hands.
LG: What does one pair of hands mean?
Me: I’ve only got two hands.

LG: Can we have a photo by ourselves? Can I have one by the pretty bush?
Me: OK.

LG: Do you know where I got this from?
Me: Where?
LG: From – where did we go with my playgroup?
Me: Cinderella. What did you get from there?
LG: I go like this. I got it from the school people.

LG: Can you take a picture of me like this?
Me: No more pictures.
LG: One day?
Me: Maybe.

LG: Can I take my scooter?
Me: OK.
LG: Mummy, can you hold my Puffles?

B2: What are these flowers called?
Me: I don’t know.

B2: Look in the garden, B1!
Me: No.
B1: Why not?
Me: It’s rude.
B1: Why is it rude?
Me: It’s nosy.

B2: Mummy, can you hold my Puffles?
Me: OK.

B1: Who’s that?
Me: Jane.
B1: I liked their old car.
Me: But they couldn’t afford to run it.
B1: Why?
Me: The repairs and stuff are very expensive.

LG: Why have I got a pink potty?
Me: Because you’re a girl.
LG: But I don’t need a potty.
Me: You used to.

LG: What was that man doing?
Me: I don’t know.
LG: Why did Daddy go? To check he was gone?
Me: Yes.

B1: Are you going to your dance class today?
Me: Yes.
B1: Can you show me your dance moves?
Me: Not today.

B1: Mummy, why don’t you like bananas?
Me: I just don’t.

And on that note, we leave the longest day and put it to bed, metaphorically and literally.

Author: Sarah Mummy

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