Quality time with my boy

One-to-one quality time with a child is the holy grail for any parent with two or more kids. And it’s not easy to manage with all the other stuff parents have to juggle. Some very good parents actually timetable one-to-one time so that both parents get some individual time with each child. I like to think I’m a good parent, but I’m not as good as that. One-to-one time is something which happens every now and then, but it’s not easy with football, rugby, dance lessons, Explorers and Scouts to work around.

My husband has, for many years, gone to Costa first thing on a Saturday or Sunday morning with my daughter. That’s their quality time. Recently, if she has been too tired, my younger son has gone instead. My son’s time with his dad is football. It’s their thing. My time with my daughter is dancing. Admittedly, she’s actually in a lesson, but I drive her there, wait for her and do everything she needs to do for her dancing. My eldest has less regular time, but has trips away with his Dad about once a year – always involving mountains. He’s done Snowdon and Ben Nevis and, later this year, they’re going for the big one – the Three Peaks.

The other day my eldest went to watch Man Utd with his Dad. The others would have liked to have gone to, but my son had a school rugby match and my daughter had a birthday party to go to. It seems like pretty much everyone she knows has a birthday in March, so there’s going to be a lot of those.

Which left my younger son and I home alone.

And he requested a trip to town to hunt for Pokemon. I can’t say he has hunted for Pokemon every day since the frenzy of last summer, but it is still something he does quite often and the introduction of Generation 2 has really got him interested again. He wanted two party hat Pikachu (part of an event which was just about to finish) and to pick up more items from Pokestops.

It worked for me as I needed to get him more school shoes (yep, the ones I bought him lasted ONE DAY and went straight back for a refund) and to replace the PE shorts he’d lost. I would do the errands and then would happily walk wherever he wanted to walk.

He found his first Pikachu very quickly. He ended up finding three of them. He picked up some of the new pinap berries from Pokestops and hatched an egg. He asked if we could go to a park. So we did. And there was only a Cyndaquill (Gen 2 Pokemon) there! And then there was another one, and another one… It was a nest and he was in his element. We walked up and down and round and round that park.

And I didn’t get bored.

He was happy and I was happy. If I have no other demands on my time, I would happily wander round all day looking for Pokemon with him. Because he loves it and he’s getting exercise. He chats to me so happily about it and I’ve learned quite a lot, despite never playing myself.

We ended up walking three miles round that park alone. I know that nobody else in the family would have had the patience to spend more than 10 or 15 minutes there. But there was nowhere else I needed to be, or would rather have been. It was my quality time with my boy.

Even on the way home, he was forced to jump out of the car to get yet another new Pokemon. Again, this is something his dad or siblings wouldn’t have tolerated. I just drove to a nearby car park and waited for him. He was only gone five minutes and he came back buzzing. He’d found his Pokemon and I’d given him the time he needed to find it.

When he got back in the car he gave me about the best compliment he could ever give me: ‘You’re the best Pokemum!’

I’m very happy to be the best Pokemum. I’m so glad I got to spend some rare quality time with my boy.

Park, Pokemon Go, Son

He moved too fast for me to photograph him, so I took photos of the park instead

Author: Sarah Mummy

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18 Comments

  1. We love Pokémon Go too! My son spotted a lapras at a nearby stop the other day and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him get his coat and shoes on and out the door so fast! I try to get him out for a walk hunting most weekends, it’s also how we get most of our in-depth chats these days.

    He’s even got my Mum playing (and is very jealous of her Mr Mimes, as they don’t spawn here – mind you, we have lots of Tauroses).

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    • You and your boy sound very similar to us! I love that he’s got your mum playing too. My son spotted a Lapras a couple of months ago as we were at traffic lights on the drive home from school. He jumped out of the car and ran down the pavement along a dual carriageway to find it! It was well worth it as he got it.

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      • Of course only a couple of days later we hatched our second lapras ….

        I think it’s kind of hilarious that my mum is playing too. She has a pokestop and a spawn point at her house! She and my son skyped each other this morning to compare recent catches 😉

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        • That’s lovely! There’s a Pokestop right opposite my mum’s house, which son can reach without leaving her house when he’s feeling a bit lazy!

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  2. What lovely time together. It is hard and we find whatever we try to do with just one of the children no-one wants to miss out so they usually want to come too! My youngest gets the most though as he can’t go outside by himself yet so is often home alone with me.

    It is nice you are a Pokemum – because I have ordered some “I choose you” leggings and my son is cross saying why I don’t even play/like it – he does! Oh and don’t even get me started on losing stuff – he lost one rugby boot and apparently he had to wear some 4 sizes too small from lost property!

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    • We find that most of the time it’s one parent with one child at an activity (either me and daughter at dance or hubby and son at football), while the others stay at home with the other parent.
      Ha ha, I love the sound of those leggings! I suspect my son wouldn’t be keen on me wearing them either! What is it with boys and losing stuff? 🙁

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  3. Aww! How lovely! It sounds like you had a fab time together.
    We never got into the Pokemon hype. It doesn’t work well with Pay as you go mobiles. lol
    You really are the best Pokemum!
    That is shocking about the shoes. I hope the new one’s last longer x

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    • We had a lovely time, thanks! You can’t beat a bit of quality time that costs nothing!
      Needless to say, they gave us a refund on the shoes. I’d sworn not to buy Clarks men’s shoes again as they wore out pretty quickly, but that’s what I ended up buying. They will certainly last longer than a day!

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  4. Oh that’s so sweet! It sounds like you both had a lovely time. I struggle to get one on one time with my two even at their ages. I tend to get some with my youngest while her sister is at school, and then with the eldest we have 20 minutes reading together every morning. Although her sister is there, my focus is all on her. I hope we’ll manage to keep up with some one on one time as they get older, maybe it will be easier when they’re both in school and doing different things.
    Nat.x

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    • We had a really lovely time, thanks. I’m amazed that you find it difficult even with two little ones, but I guess it’s hard as you can’t leave one to focus on the other! The reading time sounds good. I’m sure it will be easier when they’re doing different things and you will just have one left at home, whereas I have two left at home, so they still don’t get the individual attention! x

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  5. That sounds so lovely. I agree the quality time with one child is so hard and actually, as they get older it seems even harder as your time is always divided and they want to do more stuff with their friends. I enjoyed the Pokemon phase last summer as R and I went on a few walks together and it was nice to chat. Sadly, he grew tired of it and doesn’t bother with it now which is a shame.

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    • Maybe you should mention the Generation 2 Pokemon to him to see if he can get interested again?! I find as my kids get older most of my time seems to be spent in the car taking them different places, which isn’t great for quality time!

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  6. Oh i love this ‘you’re the best pokemum’ I found the best quality time i had with my kids was in the car driving from one activity to another, often we’d give their mates a lift, and we’d stop for food after the football, rugby etc. I was one of the few mums who went to every single football match with child 4 of 5 and would go to all the other games I could with child 3 of 5 when he was refereeing #tweensteensandbeyond

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  7. Sarah this is such a heart warming story. As you say it is so difficult to get quality one on one time with each child so these moments need to be seized and it sounds like you did a very good job of it too! It is so easy sometimes for the mums to do the girls and the dads the boys but like you we try and mix it up a bit and no matter how old they get they still need “mum” time or “dad” time. Love the pokemum!!! Fabulous. Thanks for joining us again. #TweensTeensBeyond

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  8. I love that families do this with their kids. We have one daughter but she has time with both of us. It’s important time and she gets to do a lot of the boy stuff with my husband which suits me and he’s not that into the girl thing. We also have all together time. Great that you are getting stuck in the with the Pokémon Sarah, I’m sure it’s quite a good way to spend time, it’s certainly very popular. I wouldn’t mind having a go myself actually! Thanks for joining us again at #TweensTeensBeyond, Nicky

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  9. Oh Sarah I know just how you feel. I was constantly pulled in three different directions and it is so easy when I am with just one of them. There are no arguments and no battling for attention. This sounds like a lovely trip out. Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond, we really value your support.

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  10. It’s a rare thing for me too, to get quality time with just one of my children. And it only really works if you leave the house I find. This is a good reminder! #TeensTweensBeyond

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  11. One to one time is definitely difficult if you have more than two children but it is so important to try (IMO). So lovely to hear you both had a great day together x #TweensTeensBeyond

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