Times change

I’ve been looking back on the early days of my blog and two things have struck me. First, that my writing wasn’t as cringey as I thought it would be. But mainly that times really do change.

It seems silly, but I hadn’t realised how much things had changed in the five and a half years I’d been blogging. When I started out, I thought I had big kids, but the reality is, I had little kids. My eldest had just turned 10 and was just about to go into year 6, my younger son was 7 and just about to join year 3 and my little girl really was a little girl – she was only 5 and going into year 1.

When I read about my life then, it feels completely different to the life I have now. I actually had three kids in the same school. My boys still shared a room full of plastic crap, had a bedtime story and lights off at 8.30pm (although they didn’t go straight to sleep, even then). My daughter still had milk in a baby cup at bedtime and hadn’t even started ballet. Life was full of endless daft questions, I was forever getting drinks and snacks and there was an awful lot of it dropped on the carpet. It sounded pretty relentless.

But I always say that parenting doesn’t get easier. The kids just move the goalposts.

Times change and now parenting is mainly endless lifts. I’m here for the kids when they suddenly need to ask me an important question about GCSEs, university or politics (although I don’t always have the answers), but sometimes they don’t need to talk to me. They mainly make their own drinks and snacks now and, more than three years after we moved into our house, our carpet is still immaculate.

One thing that struck me about those early posts was that I often seemed quite down. I’d forgotten about that. My default position now is happy.

Why am I happier? Is it just because the kids are older, that they’ve moved the goalposts?

It’s more likely to be that I don’t have to go out for work any more and that I live in a bigger house. Our old house cast a shadow over those early blogposts – a three bedroomed bungalow with a small kitchen isn’t ideal for a family of five. It often felt claustrophobic. Having more space, I feel more settled. It definitely makes life easier.

I’m aware that times will continue to change. Currently, teenagers feel easier than sleepless nights with a newborn, but kids keep moving the goalposts. Who knows what pressure GCSEs and A Levels will bring? Who knows how my daughter will settle into her new secondary school? What about when boyfriends and girlfriends appear on the scene? When things get tough with friendships?

Parenting is no walk in the park and it’s constantly changing. Who knows what I will think when I fast forward five years and look back to where I am now. One things is for sure, nothing will stay the same.

Family, Kids, Growing up, Change

Author: Sarah Mummy

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29 Comments

  1. I remember reading your blog years ago and even I used to think they were so grown up, even your 5 year old! I feel a bit like I’ve watched them grow on here and like I know them! I’m not sure they ever really grow up now…or so my parents tell me 🙂

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    • I thought they were grown up then too! In fact I started my blog partly because all of the blogs were about babies and toddlers and I wanted to write about how my big kids were funny too. Now all the bloggers of that generation who had the babies and toddlers have got kids a similar age to mine were when I started out.

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    • Thanks very much, so do I! I hadn’t even realised how unhappy I used to be!

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  2. Ah, it’s great that you’re happier now and gives me hope as I’m currently that rather sad mum of 3 young children x

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    • Thanks very much! Hope you start to feel happier at some point too – three young kids are hard work! x

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  3. It’s great that you are happier now – things never stay the same with kids do they? But I too find parenting teens much easier than having no sleep with infants! I can cope with anything as long as I get sleep!

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    • Thanks very much! It’s funny, I still don’t get much sleep as I wake up stupidly early every day, but at least my sleep isn’t disturbed in the middle of the night!

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  4. It’s been wonderful to watch them grow up on your blog. I feel, when I read your blog that I am looking at my future. Same ages and same boys and girl. Parenting does change and you are right the goal posts move. It’s a great journey, but an ever changing one. xx

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    • Thanks very much! I like reading blogs of families with kids like mine a few years ahead too, although to be fair the only remaining one seems to have stopped blogging! It is a great journey 🙂 x

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  5. I remember you having quite a period of time when you were down. I can very much relate to this post except the bit about an immaculate carpet – when you’ve got girls who spend half their day putting on make up, the carpet is filthy! You wait

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    • Eeek! Not pleased to hear that about the carpet! I think we’ve had about three spills on the carpet since we’ve been here – and all my husband spilling his tea or coffee 🙂 I do remember feeling down, but hadn’t realised just how much it came over in so many of my blogposts. It’s strange to look back on it and see that I’ve changed, not just the kids.

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  6. What a lovely post. I should look back on mine. I love the time hop on Facebook and can see just how quickly the boys are growing up. My friend today was surprised my second born is picking his options already.

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    • Thanks very much! I’ve never done Timehop on FB, I should give it a go! Reading about your son doing his options reminded me that my son would be doing them in a year! It feels like he’s only just started grammar school – where is the time going to?!

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  7. You are so right about the ever changing goal posts! Yours was one of the first blogs I started reading, a big congrats on writing for so long! 🙂 I love being able to read back over the years, it’s such a great record of family life isn’t it? x

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    • Thanks very much! I’m very touched that mine was one of the first blogs you read. It is a great record of family life – I would have forgotten so much without it. I know it’s not ‘cool’ to write a record of family life any more, but that’s what my blog has always been and that’s what it will always be in the future! x

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  8. And you were the first blog I started reading too Sarah, and the reason I started mine (you have a lot to answer Mrs lol). I can’t believe you started your blog when your daughter was going into year 1. Year 1 seems like it was an eternity ago as our daughters move to high school in a few months. You are so right about the ever changing times of parenthood. In some ways it gets so much easier. You want a snack/drink great, you know where the kitchen is. But throw in hormones, exams, and countless other teenage things and it becomes harder again. I love reading about your family Sarah, and sometimes it’s like we live in some parallel universe with our kids x

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    • Thanks very much for such a lovely comment! I love that I inspired you to start blogging. It is crazy to think my daughter was only in year 1 when I started blogging, although I find it even crazier that my son was still in primary school! I think it’s reassuring when you feel like you’re living in a parallel universe because it makes you feel that your kids are normal and going through all the normal things teens and tweens go through.
      Apart from a bit of stubborn behaviour and disorganisation on the part of my boys, I think I’ve been very lucky with my teenagers so far! x

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  9. The kids do move the goal posts don’t they. I feel much the same way although my kids are younger, at least they are past the sleepless nights and baby stages. I think a new home makes a big difference, we were 7 squashed into a small 3 bed house, but now we have a big 5 bed house and it feels much better. plus we can get out of each others way if needed. The only problem is I wish I had someone to clean for me! I’m glad you are feeling more content, those early days are difficult, but still precious x

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    • Thanks very much! We found it hard enough with five of us in a 3-bed house, so I’m very impressed that you managed with seven of you! Like you, we have a 5-bed house now and it is great to be able to have your own space if you want/ need it. Totally with you on the cleaning though! x

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  10. It’s funny as we have gone through a lot of the similar issues with our kids and I think that is one of the things that I love about your blog as it is quite reassuring that I am not alone with some of the things that I go through. I totally understand about the change thing though, I have felt like that lately and wondered if I should take my blog in a different direction now the children are older but I enjoy blogging about family life. It is amazing that you feel so much happier now. I know a lot of people who find parenting older children so much easier and I think that is a big factor but you have made lots of positive changes in your life over the last few years and that is great.

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    • Thanks very much! I enjoy your blog because our kids are at similar stages too (not to mention it’s a very well-written and entertaining blog!). I wouldn’t know what other direction to take my blog in, so I’ll keep plugging away for as long as I can!

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  11. Oh gosh, my eldest will be 5 in a few months, reading this makes me realise how quickly she’ll be getting towards secondary school age, eek! Great that you’re happier now you have more space. We have a lot to do do this house to get it right and then we’ll probably sell it but I’m hoping eventually we’ll feel the same about our home. It’s not space we need here but a carpet would be nice!
    Nat.x

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    • I hadn’t realised quite how much difference the space had made until I looked back on my blog. I knew I used to be more unhappy, but hadn’t realised how it was a shadow over so many of my blogposts.
      It is amazing how quickly the time passes! x

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  12. It is nice to hear that life is happier for you. Five and a half years worth of notes abut your children to read back on must bring back some lovely memories. You are right when you express that parenting doesnt get easier, the kids just change posts x

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    • It is lovely to have those memories going back five years. I wish I’d been blogging for longer so I would have more memories recorded, but blogging really wasn’t a thing when they were all tiny.

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  13. Nodding along to this post, I feel similar to you in many ways. I think the reason we go out a lot is as we are crammed into a three bed house and it is just too small for us. If only we could afford to move

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    • I can understand that! I must say I feel a lot more settled now we’re in our current house. I was always desperate to get out when we lived in our old house.

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  14. That’s the great things about blogs. You can look back and see how much has changed. I love reading my old posts.

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