Britmums Live (control freak)

It’s Britmums Live day and I have that familiar sick feeling in my stomach, a mix of nerves and excitement, which means I’m going to struggle to eat my breakfast this morning. I’m not nervous about walking into a room of 700 people, some of whom I know, many of whom I don’t. I can do that. I can chat to people, make friends, meet friends. Or I can be on my own for a while, that’s fine too.

No, I’m nervous about being away from home.

I never leave my kids, apart from Britmums Live. I’ve never once had a girls’ holiday, or even a girls’ weekend. I’ve only once in 14 years as a parent been away with my husband without the kids – for two nights in Amsterdam.

So leaving the kids is a big deal.

Silly, I know. Leaving my own kids with their own father who loves them just as much as I do and would never see them come to any harm. But he doesn’t know stuff like me. I’m the one who organises the kids and runs the house (although my husband does do a very good job of cleaning the kitchen, for which I’m very grateful).

My husband works very long hours, he always has done. I’m the kids’ main carer. I know what they need to do, when and where. I know what they like to eat and when they like to eat it. I remember to give them a drink with their meals. I make an effort to get them to bed at a reasonable time (OK, I usually fail).

Without me, they’ll be panicking because they’re running late and they don’t know where their kit is. Their meals will be late (and unaccompanied by vegetables). My husband will forget to make them drinks and they will forget to ask/ make them.

Without me, bedding and towels would never get washed. What?! You mean bedding and towels get washed? Who knew? Without me, clothes would make it into the laundry basket (well, my husband’s and daughter’s would at any rate), but they wouldn’t actually make it into the machine until my husband got up and found he had no shirt/ socks/ pants. Soap, toothpaste and toilet rolls would run out. (Biscuits probably wouldn’t.) Recycling would pile up in the garage. Because what day does the recycling go out, anyway? My husband has never once put it out. Like the sheets and towels, it’s something that happens magically while he’s at work.

How will they cope without me?

They’ll have a good time, that’s for sure. Bedtime will almost certainly be later. It’s possible Daddy will fall asleep on the settee before the kids are in bed (likely in the case of my eldest). Tea will almost certainly come from the chip shop (ironic as my husband is much better at cooking than me and always cooks at the weekend). It probably won’t be accompanied by a drink (unless my husband and younger son have a can of Coke from the chip shop).

But will my husband remember to pick up my daughter from her friend’s house? He will almost certainly remember to pick my younger son up from school after his residential trip. Thank goodness. Will he remember to take my daughter to her dress rehearsal tomorrow – complete with hair and make-up done? (He will, because my daughter will nag him until he does!)

But will he think to do my son’s washing? If he doesn’t, a trip to M&S for new pants will be on the cards for tomorrow. Will he think to clean his glasses? Will he get the recycling boxes in? Will he get today’s washing in and put it away?

He will manage and so will the kids, It would be nice to get back to an organised household tomorrow, but three kids and a husband all alive is the most important thing!

Three kids! I will get to see my younger son for the first time since he went away on Monday. I’ve really missed him and it’s hard knowing he’s getting home today and I won’t see him. But it will be brilliant when I see him tomorrow.

It’s all fine. I need to stop feeling sick and anxious and just enjoy myself.

If you’re going to Britmums Live, I’ll see you there! I’ll be the one dressed like this.

Washing, Garden, Housework, Britmums Live

Will he remember to get this in?

Author: Sarah Mummy

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13 Comments

  1. I think we all feel a bit like this when we go away. You know what though? They’ll be absolutely fine. You go away and have a brilliant time. You need time for yourself, they need to miss you a bit and they must just even surprise you with their efficiency when you get home. Have a blast, hopefully next year I’ll be there too. Xx

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    • Thanks very much, you’re so right! I actually had the best weekend at Britmums I’ve ever have. Would be great to see you there next year! x

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  2. I felt exactly the same about being in hospital and I only have the one child and my husband is generally the better one at running the home! You know they will be fine and if anything does go wrong it is unlikely to be something that your husband can’t handle. Try and relax and enjoy your weekend. x

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    • Thank you! You’re so right! He does things in his own way, but they’re all fine without me really! x

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  3. I hope you are having a wonderful time!
    I think we all worry about things like this…..This is one of the reasons I am not going.

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    • Thanks very much! I’m glad I’m not the only one who worries! You should definitely go next year!

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  4. Heh, I’ve experienced this from the other side of the fence when my wife – who let’s politely call a ‘control enthusiast’ – went away for a week with work earlier in the year. Things happened a little differently to how they normally do (and also how I was instructed to do things) and there were a few minor hiccups that had to be navigated along the way, but actually everyone was fine. The kids weren’t (overly) traumatised and I learned some useful new tricks that I probably wouldn’t have tried otherwise. So relax and enjoy these two days – that’s what we’re here for! 🙂

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    • Thanks very much! I definitely did enjoy the two days and it was great to meet you at last.
      Sometimes our families are so similar! I like the phrase ‘control enthusiast’ and I have no doubt whatsoever that my husband’s way of doing things while I was away was different from my own!

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  5. I used to travel for work from time to time and was always perplexed by how chaotic life had become once I arrived home – even after one night it was as though nothing had been done! They were always fine though – even if it did take a day or two to put the house back together again! I hope you manage to relax and have fun at Britmums x

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    • Ha ha, I can well believe it! Thanks very much, I had a great time 🙂

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  6. Oh wow, that is a relief to read Sarah! I am just the same, worse in fact but my children are still tiny. The only time I’ve ever left my eldest overnight was to go into hospital and have my youngest. I’ve never left the youngest and quite frankly I don’t want to. She’s one now, I guess it won’t be that long before she stops breastfeeding and I can leave her overnight. But will I want to? I’m not sure if I’ll manage Britmums next year, too soon for me I think!xx

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  7. Oh Sarah this is so me. What is it about vegetables that they become invisible as soon as Dads are in charge?!

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  8. Oh Sarah this is so me. What is it about vegetables that they become invisible as soon as Dads are in charge?!

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