Spoilt, ungrateful cow

I’m a spoilt, ungrateful cow.

Not generally, of course. Generally I’m pretty selfless and put others before myself, because that’s what mums do. But there’s one thing that’s really important to me. Christmas cards. From my immediate family. The ones that live in my house.

Not homemade ones either, because we’re not a homemade kind of family. Anything homemade in our family wouldn’t be made with love – it would be a bit of folded paper half-heartedly coloured in with felt tip. So I like shop-bought cards. Ones that say ‘Mummy’ on them (or ‘Mum’ now they’re growing up). And I like a card from each of them. Yes, I know it’s a waste of money, but they’re important to me.

I get it from my family – my mum always gave my dad a card, my dad gave my mum a card, they gave us one each and we gave them one each. It always seemed like a nice thing to do and something I’ve continued with my own family.

This year, as ever, I’ve shopped carefully for appropriate cards for the three kids and for Daddy from each of them. I’ve looked at the words and the pictures to make sure they’re just right – not too babyish, not too girly, not too boyish, no inappropriate humour…

My husband knows the cards mean a lot to me, but, even after all these years, he doesn’t get it.

‘I’ve done well with your cards this year,’ he said in a voice, which I knew meant the exact opposite from my point of view.

‘Not one that says ‘from your boys’?’

‘Even better than that.’

‘Not one that says ‘from the kids’?’

It didn’t even say that. It didn’t say ‘Mum’ or ‘Mummy’, it had three gingerbread men on the front. Of course three is good because there’s three kids, but it’s not like the cards I wanted. My husband knows this.

I don’t cry or shout or scream or make a fuss, but both my husband and daughter knew I was upset. When they nipped out to Sainsburys on an errand shortly afterwards, my daughter asked Daddy if they could get me two more cards and pretend the one card was a joke.

My husband looked at the cards I’d lovingly chosen for him and pointed out I’d wasted £12 on something he didn’t want. I know he had a point, but it’s something I wanted to do. It’s what seems right to me.

He’s said he’ll do me a deal next year – he’ll get me cards from each of the kids and I should only get one for him, because he’s really not that bothered. That makes sense, I guess.

So am I a spoilt, ungrateful cow to expect £12 worth I Christmas cards from my family? Maybe.

But it matters to me and, for all I do for them for 365 days a year, I think it’s a small price to pay to express their gratitude and appreciation.

Christmas cards, family, Christmas

Author: Sarah Mummy

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12 Comments

  1. I am with you when it comes to birthday cards, but for some reason I don’t feel the same about Xmas ones! We decided we wouldn’t get them for each other this year – and if everyone is happy then thats OK – but if your hubby knows it means a lot to you then he should make the effort!! I prefer a homemade card – am going to make my OHs for his birthday as all the soppy ones in the shops never have the right words in them!

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    • Thanks! I didn’t expect many people to agree with me on the principle of the cards, but it’s good to know you can see my point of view on it! I know what you mean about shop-bought birthday cards – the words are never right – too soppy, too rude or too insulting, plus pictures of men drinking beer in sheds or fishing etc!

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  2. We’ve never bought into this Christmas card tradition for immediate family so I’m not with you on this BUT similar to Sonya, I am very upset if I don’t get a special card (or more) on my birthday. If it means so much to you then they should really understand that and do it whatever they think about the money. Love that your daughter knew you were upset! x

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    • Thanks! They do know it and my husband messes around with the cards every year just to wind me up. Even though he knows it’s important, I don’t think he realises how important. Bless my daughter, she’s very caring and in tune with people’s feelings.

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  3. I’m not fussed with the individual Christmas card thing to be honest. But if it’s important to you the family should respect your wishes. Stay sane lovely x

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    • Thanks very much! Exactly what I think! x

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  4. Oh I want to run out and get you one now!!!! I am lucky the hub is very good. He used to even get me cards from the pets. Hang on. He is either really good. Or just a bit scared of me. It’s probably the latter xxx

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    • Bless you, what a lovely thing to say, thank you! You’ve definitely got a good husband there – even if he is scared of you! 😉 x

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  5. I can see both sides of this. I’m not into christmas cards either but you’re right, you do stuff without question for your family & this is your one special thing. I hope they can make it up to you. x
    ps. It’s nice to have a tradition & that card for your daughter is gorgeous.

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    • Thanks very much! I love that card to my daughter too – it sums her up perfectly. I love it when I find the perfect cards for people. x

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  6. You see I am the complete opposite- I hate Christmas cards! What a scrooge I am. 😉 I just find they clutter up my already small house and no one writes anything personal in them and I have even been known to throw them away before Christmas even arrives- I AM AN AWFUL PERSON! But I do love birthday cards and I would never ever throw away a card from my girls. 🙂 Merry Christmas to you and your family Sarah! x

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    • Ha ha! You’re like my sister-in-law – she hides them away in a drawer! I still have to give them a card though, it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t. Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too! x

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