We have a small problem in our house. The toilet is situated directly below the bathroom cabinet. What is the problem with that, I hear you cry. Well, we lose stuff down the toilet. Rather a lot of stuff. Mainly toothbrush heads off the battery toothbrush (luckily not the battery toothbrush itself, which would be somewhat costly). And toothpaste. A lot of toothpaste.
Some weeks we lose three things in a week. Other times we might make it through six heady weeks without a single casualty. The things get knocked down or sometimes they just jump out when we open the cabinet. Yeah, I know, we could shut the toilet. We could move the cabinet. But that would all be too simple.
Once in the toilet, which is USUALLY clean, but not always (number 1s only, not number 2s, you will be pleased to know), there is only one way the things are coming out. Mummy gets a carrier bag and fishes the offending item out dog poo style and chucks it in the bin. I’ve got quite good at this, I don’t even get slightly wet.
Anyway, like most things in our house (food, especially), the kids insist on different toothpaste. My eldest has grown-up whitening toothpaste, because his teeth aren’t very white at all. The younger two use kids’ Aquafresh Big Teeth toothpaste.
The other morning, I opened the cabinet and the Big Teeth came flying out. It was only heading one place. Nothing ever falls out and misses. Disaster! The younger kids had to use their big brother’s toothpaste.
My younger son, generally a peaceful soul and the least trouble of my kids, WASN’T HAPPY at using the wrong toothpaste and had a good sulk and moan about it. So I had to get him some more. BUT…
This was the last day of term and the kids finished school at the ridiculously early hour of 1.30.
In the morning my daughter demanded said it would be nice for me to go along on the walk to the church with her class (it goes without saying this was more time-consuming than predicted).
My car had a tyre that was as flat as a pancake and the only place that was driving to was the garage to have its tyre replaced. (If you are in awe at this point at just how often my car has something wrong with it it, you are in good company. My husband is fed up of it in awe of it too.)
So the only way to get the new toothpaste was to walk to the shops. And the only time to walk to the shops was after my kids got home from school at ridiculously early o’clock.
Funnily enough, given that it was freezing cold and there was torrential rain, they weren’t too pleased.
But that’s what happens if you moan about the toothpaste.