Lifted

My default setting is slightly unhappy. I react badly to change, I’m risk averse, I spend far too much of my life worrying about things that will probably never happen. Sometimes this tips over into low-level depression – I haven’t gone down the medication route, but was seriously considering it a few weeks ago.

A couple of weeks ago I was sat at work on Monday and Tuesday feeling miserable as usual. Then on Wednesday, something changed. It was like I’d forgotten to be depressed. Somehow it didn’t matter any more that I was sat with different people or that I was doing something slightly different. If I didn’t feel exactly overjoyed, I certainly didn’t feel unhappy any more.

And it’s lasted. Somehow I feel more motivated than I have in months. I’ve been getting on and doing little things without thinking about them. Previously something small like changing and washing the table cloth would be seen as an enormous hassle, although music does help All of a sudden I’ve achieved some very small things I’ve been putting off for weeks – I’ve just done them, and they weren’t even stressful!

I’ve ordered some house numbers for our enormous collection of bins, recycling boxes and food waste caddies, I’ve made an appointment with a podiatrist for a problem which has been niggling me for the best part of year. And I’ve done some dusting. I just got on with it. I didn’t think ‘Oh my God, I’ve got to do dusting, I hate dusting, I don’t want to do dusting, dusting is such a hassle’ which is what I normally think.

I find it strange when I read that people can’t be bothered to blog. Through all my demotivation, blogging and its time-suck friends Twitter and Facebook have been all I’ve been interested in. But right now I feel I can do it all. I can blog, I can do housework, I can run errands, I can help out at school.

And I can do it with a smile on my face. Happiness and motivation are feeding off each other and the dark clouds have lifted. Long may it continue.

Author: Sarah Mummy

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14 Comments

  1. Indeed! Thanks very much. It’s currently being tested by Monday evening niggles, but nothing I can’t handle! x

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  2. I’m surprised. Your blogs are always so positive and you come across as a very motivated and determined person. Glad to hear that you are happy x.

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  3. I’m so so pleased for you. I suffer from insomnia and know what you mean by everything just being a bit too much so I’m thrilled that things are on the up – fingers and toes crossed it continues.

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  4. Thanks very much, both of you!
    Lesley – I’m very motivated by what I enjoy, which is reading, writing, running and dancing, but I’m not so good at the housework! Blogging is where I’m happy!
    Hope you find a way to not be so overwhelmed too, pressiebypebbles. Really appreciate you commenting 🙂

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  5. You’re right, happiness and motivation really do feed off each other. Once you get going with something, you enjoy the results or the consequences and feel enthused to do more – just like you have been doing and enjoying!

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  6. Thanks very much, ladies, really appreciate your comments and you are both so right! I never used to put stuff off and I drive myself mad with it, but I find myself doing it more and more! The world feels like a better place if I just get on with things 🙂

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  7. I had one of those weeks this week i have not sat still all week!! and i am feeling pretty damn fab about it xxxxx Thanks for reminding me too i need to order some numbers before the neighbours take a liking to my newer bin!

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  8. Long may it continue indeed. As a man I don’t think I would notice if I was depressed, it is great that you are feeling more positive.

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  9. What a great positive post. There are times when I have felt like this too, and those days when that cloud finally lifts are just great! 🙂

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  10. Thanks very much, everyone 🙂 Funny how men don’t get depressed (or recognise that they are) onehandman. Always happy to remind people about bin numbers, Jaime! x

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  11. I thought I ad commented on this post before, I certainly read it, sorry I didn’t comment! Interesting to look back and remind ourselves of those feelings and how far we’ve come….assuming you’re still feeling lifted? X

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  12. Gosh I must do my bin numbers too (we’ve just got wheelie bins for first time) 🙂 Anyway…more importantly what a lovely and honest post this is. Hope this lovely lift has tended to stay with you xx

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