First day nerves

I am going back to school. Well, I’m not. My son is starting secondary school. My old secondary school. And it feels like it’s me.

Yesterday evening I went to an introductory evening. My son has spent the day there already, so he didn’t think he needed to go. And my husband plays football on a Monday, so he didn’t think he needed to go either.

Well technically they didn’t. There was probably nothing my son hadn’t heard already and, much as my husband cares about the kids’ education, I am the one who cares in a practical sense. I’m better at it, apparently. I did well at school and worked hard. He didn’t. I am a school governor. I do all the kids’ homework with them. And deal with all the letters. So it’s my job.

Unfortunately, everyone else seemed to get a different memo from us. Or everyone else cared more than a man who wanted to play football and a boy who wanted to go to Scouts. Because I was the only Billy-no-mates there on my own. And I felt nervous and out-of-place.

We packed into the school hall and it was just the same – the curtains, the cladding on the wall, the lighting box. It felt quite emotional. While listening to the speeches, I was picturing myself on that stage behind those curtains starring in the school 6th form plays.

Everything else was different – the rest of the building, the uniform, the way they set the kids, the house system. But it all sounds great and I’m sure he will do well there. It’s just a shame I’m so nervous.

I left the hall in a crowd of people – mums, dad, kids, little brothers and sisters, parents who knew each other and sat together… I could see people I knew dotted around the place, but they were all happy with their whole families. Unlike me, who just felt like a complete weirdo.

Then I bumped into an old friend from school with his ex. Even they were together! Our boys had been friends at nursery, so we had a chat. Then I had a chat with another nursery mum. These are people I hadn’t seen for seven years! I hadn’t even really thought of my son as having friends at nursery, yet somehow talking to these people seemed more attractive than talking to parents I see every day but don’t actually talk to at our current school.

I went and garbled to the music teacher about whether my form for my son’s form for his violin lessons had arrived, a prefect tried to engage me in conversation about inter-house sport, music and drama, I bought a school tie and technology apron, embarrassingly getting down to 5ps to pay for them. I looked at the blazers, but there was no point looking too closely. What with having no child with me to try them on.

So I slunk off home. Billy-no-mates at the new school. Must try harder.

Author: Sarah Mummy

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19 Comments

  1. Any teachers still there ???

    What have they done to the houses? Don’t tell me there is no more Hyde house !!!?!?!?!?

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  2. Lovely, though, that your son is going to your old school. Hope he will be very happy there.

    My secondary school was a three generation school in our family; part of our family history x.

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  3. I always feel nervous about school stuff, like I am still a child and might get a detention…

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  4. I bet it feels weird going back. The primary school that Aly is going to is the same one my wife went to and the teachers were still mainly the same.

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  5. This whole Secondary School lark is so scary and filled with a mix of emotions. Shame on your husband and son for not keeping you company!

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  6. I always love the picture you paint with your words. I can feel every part of this!!
    So cool you can go back but in a VERY different light x

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  7. Thanks very much for commenting everyone – I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond!
    It is weird, but nice, going back to the same school. All the kids are at my old primary too!
    Haven’t seen any of the old teachers, Glenn, but an old friend saw one, although he couldn’t remember his name! There is no Hyde house – all new names and colours. I have a feeling there is five houses now – it’s all a blur quite frankly!
    Thanks, Aly, I’m glad I was able to express how weird it was feeling x

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  8. I actually taught at my old secondary school. now that was weird. Luckily there weren’t many of the staff that taught me – I found it really hard talking to those that were as peers intead of teachers. And on a bad day as I was walking though the corridors I wondered if my life had moved on at all! I am worrying about my eldest starting infants in Sept – didn’t think I would end up feeling the same when he starts secondary too!

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  9. Thanks very much for commenting! I’m afraid you almost certainly will feel the same when he starts secondary school! They are still your babies even when they are almost as big as you! Good luck to him, I hope it goes well for both of you 🙂
    That must be weird teaching at your old school – can totally understand how you feel about your old teachers. I’m a council press officer and give advice to head teachers, yet they always make me nervous!

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  10. I’m still a school governor at my son’s old primary school but he wasn’t keen on me getting involved in his secondary school (interfering mother? moi?) so these last five years of ‘big school’ have passed in a blur, and I still don’t know who people are or where rooms are situated. So it must be a nice feeling to have a history with your son’s school.
    The technology apron I bought before the beginning of Year 7 is still in its plastic wrapper!

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  11. That’s good to know about the technology apron! I did question whether it was needed because the uniform and sports kit list is as long as your arm, but I was assured it was!
    I don’t want to be a governor at this school, especially as I anticipate we will end up with three different schools. Being a governor at such a big school sounds like a scary prospect!
    Thanks very much for commenting 🙂

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  12. Gosh, it must evoke a whole heap of emotions going back to your old school, regardless of whether your son is going there or not. I am not sure how I would feel about it but at least you had money on you, I never have money in my purse!!

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  13. Thanks very much for commenting, I really appreciate it. He’s been there a few months now and it still feels a bit weird. Secondary school is so detached compared to primary school.

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  14. And now I’ve got to do it all again – 2nd daughter received her place for September, just last week! Thanks for linking again 🙂

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  15. Scary! Good luck with that! Glad it’s another two years until I have to do it again. No worries, always a pleasure to link in 🙂

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