Guess what?! I’m a day older today. No surprises there, then. Today I am also a year older. I am two years off life beginning and my 30th is but a distant memory of being young. And heavily pregnant. And a little bit ill.
But do I act my age? Am I a yummy mummy or a slummy mummy? My clubbing days are over, but my dancing days are definitely not. Nor are my hoodie-wearing days.
Am I growing old gracefully or disgracefully? There’s only one way to find out. Here’s my mid-life summary.
Swearing – disgraceful
Sarcasm – disgraceful
Sarcasm to nice middle age middle class mums who don’t even realise I am being sarcastic – DISGRACEFUL
Wearing Superdry – disgraceful
Wearing Doc Martens – disgraceful
Wearing pink Converse boots – disgraceful
Wearing blue nail varnish – disgraceful
Street dance classes – disgraceful
Never ironing – disgraceful
Crap at housework – disgraceful
Street dance while hoovering – disgraceful
Setting off smoke alarms every time I cook – disgraceful
Excessive chocolate consumption – disgraceful
Shouting at kids – disgraceful
Feeding my kids frozen food – disgraceful
Nose piercing – disgraceful
Multiple ear piercings – disgraceful
Reading Heat magazine – disgraceful
Long distance running – really don’t know which way to go with this one – could be either
Teetotal – graceful (almost saint-like, really)
Never being out after midnight – graceful
Or 11pm – graceful
Up before 7am every day – graceful
School governor – graceful
Eating my 5 a day – graceful
Drinking lots of water – graceful
Helping kids with homework – graceful
Recycling – graceful
Walking – graceful
Always carry tissues, wipes, first aid kit – graceful
Wear suncream – graceful
Use hand sanitiser – graceful
Reading literature – graceful
So there are more disgracefuls than gracefuls, but is wearing blue nail varnish, being sarcastic and never ironing worse than drinking until 3am, throwing up in public and wiping out the whole of the next day?!
What do you think? Am I growing old gracefully or disgracefully? And are you graceful or disgraceful and are you really old enough to know better?!